Secrets
by Jennfan
Summary: What happens after J.J. and Will kiss in the episode In Heat- AU from there with drama, angst and maybe some Jemily loving.
1. Chapter 1

This story starts at the end of season 3 episode 17 called In Heat. It diverges from cannon in someways. You'll have to read to find out how. I don't own Criminal Minds or the characters, I just like to play with them.

Authors Note: The one shots I posted earlier was because of this story. I got a major case of writer's block and couldn't move this story forward. I wrote down I list of about 200 prompts that popped into my head and they came from the prompts. Hope you like the story, if you do let me know.

Secrets

It was like a train wreck you couldn't look away from. Emily's world shatters, and all she can do is stand, stunned, with her hands in her pockets and watch. Watch as Will and J.J. kiss in the middle of the police station. When she told the blonde to go for him, she thought it was the right thing to do, but now as the pain rips through her heart she realizes she was wrong, so wrong.

Morgan and Reid walk in and stand beside her. They witness what is taking place but miss the overwhelmed look on the brunette profiler's face. She just manages to hold herself together.

Derek is the first to speak, "Well finally," he states. He had known about them for a while now, all of the team had.

She hears him and the compartmentalization starts, "Hmm, thought she was never going to admit it." She walks away to fall apart in private. In less than an hour she would have to be her strong, stoic self.

"What's it been, like a year?" Reid questions.

As Reid exits Morgan responds, " Yeah, something like that." His brow wrinkles with uncertainty, something just didn't sit well with him, it didn't feel right. He shakes it off and walks toward the door as the kiss continues.

As the plane heads toward D.C. you can hear J.J.'s voice. "If we knew each other's secrets, what comfort we should find." The words of John Churton Collins. She doesn't understand the truth behind those words, however, maybe she would-someday.

The plane is strangely quiet, there is none of the usual banter that follows the success of solving a case- stopping a killer, and Morgan isn't sure why. His gut keeps insisting something isn't good and the tense atmosphere isn't helping him shake the feeling. He looks around at his friends, no, his family- as he tries to figure it out.

His eyes fall on J.J., the media liaison is staring out the window, from his angle he can't see her face but her body language seems guarded. He isn't getting that "excited" vibe-shouldn't she be excited? She had just confessed her love, shouldn't there be some outward appearance of happiness? He is unsure, but he lets it go. Maybe she was lost in the thought of leaving him- long distance romance can be hard, or at least that's what he had heard.

He looks up three rows and across the aisle from the blonde and sees Emily biting her nails as she reads. He watches her movements, he can tell that she is unfocused and isn't surprised when a couple of seconds later she tosses the book on the seat beside her. He watches as she looks toward J.J. and sees the look- the same one he saw earlier but dismissed. He wouldn't be fooled again- was it confusion - anger? He couldn't quite gauge it. She catches his look and her walls go up instantly. He shakes his head as she turns away, looking out her window. "What's going on Prentiss?" He mumbles to himself.

Emily's mind swirls as she tries to calm her internal monologue. What did I let him see? Why was he watching me? Why was I looking at her? When had things gotten so out of control? She growls softly, "Damn." She is pulled from her thoughts as someone sits across from her. She looks up and sees Morgan. She bites her bottom lip, then worries it with her tongue. Neither speak as she looks back out the window. Damn, damn, plays in her head. Her eyes turn to him as she feels his hand on her knee. "Derek," she stops, her eyes pleading.

He speaks anyway, "Prentiss, you okay?"

She stays in control, despite the concern in his words hitting her hard. She is a little too quick and flip with her answer. "Why wouldn't I be?" She knows he won't let it go.

He meets her eyes, "I'm sure Reid could rattle off some statistics on how often a person answers a question with a question, when they're trying to avoid answering it." Her glare is ignored as he continues, "Talk to me Princess."

She almost smiles at the nickname, "Derek-I'm Okay." She lies to her best friend.

And he knows it, "You know I don't believe you, right?"

She nods, " Yeah-well, I hate that about you, nobody reads me like you ." She tries to organize her words-guard her feelings. "I'm not okay, but.." she licks her lips. "I will be. It might just take a little time."

He decides to push as the pieces fall into place. "I'll make you a deal," he takes her hand. She glances toward J.J. and back at him. "I'll give you 48 hours."

She looks confused by his words, "48 hours- Morgan what are you talking about?"

"You got 48 hours to tell her." He flicks his eyes to the blonde, then back on the brunette.

Shocked and scared, she pulls her hand away. "Tell who, what?" She stills her voice as she pretends she doesn't know what he is talking about. She can feel the panic raise as he looks again toward J.J., "Morgan." She fights as tears try to escape. She whispers, "I can't."

Concerned for his friend, he takes her hand again, "Why not?"

She shakes her head, " She's happy-I'm not going to-no, I just can't."

He shakes his head, "Really Prentiss she looks happy to you?" He stands and kisses the top of her head, then ruffles her hair playfully, trying to lighten the mood. He whispers in her ear, "You know I'm right."

As he leaves, she glances toward the blonde. Maybe, just maybe he was. She watches as long as she dares, then turns to the window. If she could relax and that was a big if- before the plane lands, she could find the words to talk to Jennifer Jareau.

J.J. can feel eyes on her, but when she turns all the people seem to be doing something else. Her thought turn back to the day as she faces the window. She wonders to herself, How did I get in this mess? Why did I chase after him? Why did I kiss him in front of her? She pinches the bridge of her nose, as her headache gets worse. Then, the thought comes to her, Emily-it's her fault, she told me to go for him. Damn. I really thought she... She shakes her head trying to force the thoughts away. Get over it Jareau, she doesn't feel the same about you. God! This day just sucks. She fights to stop tears, she knows that will only make her headache worse.

The plane lands and Hotch addresses the team, "We'll meet at 10:00 am to debrief-take the rest of the day." He leaves the aircraft as the others stand and start to the door.

Morgan hangs back, waiting for J.J. and Emily. As they get closer, he walks toward them and puts an arm around each, he shows his dazzling smile, "So ladies how about a drink?" He looks from one to the other.

The younger woman speaks first, "Thanks, but rain check."

The older woman's words follow quickly, "Sorry Morgan, I have a date."

Blue eyes meet brown unsure, "Date?"

Emily is confused by the look on her face. She wonders, Is she jealous? No, that couldn't be right.

Morgan shoots Prentiss a What the hell look.

She realizes what they must think and starts to explain herself, "No- not a date, date- a date with the hot tub and a glass of wine."

The blonde relaxes, "That sounds good." She manages a smile.

The brunette dares, with a nervous smile she bites her bottom lip, " There's room if you want..." Derek smiles and slips off the plane.

J.J. thinks about the offer but her pounding head makes the choice for her, " I'd really like to, but my head is killing me. I need to go home."

Brown eyes notice for the first time how pale she is, "Are you okay to drive?"

The blonde pats Emily's arm, "I'll be okay." She forces a little smile. "I'll see you tomorrow, have some wine for me?"

Emily bites her lip and nods, as she watches her leave.


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks to those who read and those who reviewed, it's appreciated. So, you know how it goes, I don't own Criminal Minds or its characters. If I did things would be different. Lol.

Secrets: Chapter 2

Morgan walks into the bullpen the next morning and sees Emily already at her desk working on something, he smiles as he sits on her desk and raises an eyebrow. She shakes her head as she licks her lip and bites at it. " She had a headache."

"Bad break-but you just try again." He moves off her desk and winks, "The weekends coming, you let me know if you need a wingman."

She smiles, "Thanks."

He pats her shoulder. "Anytime Princess."

She goes back to her case file and he goes to the coffee pot. As she tries to work she realizes she can't concentrate on the report, the only thing her mind is the blue eyed blonde. She smiles as she shakes her head and mumbles, "Get it together Prentiss."

The smile fades a few minutes later as J.J. walks by her desk, toward the conference room. Emily looks toward Morgan and stands, "Something's wrong."

She follows the younger woman into the Round Table room. Once she gets a good look, she sees the blonde is more pale then the day before, and wearing sun glasses. She watches as her friend tries to get things ready for the meeting. "Jenn-?" She moves forward and puts a hand on her back. "Come sit."

Without argument she does as she was asked, she puts her head in her hands. "Let me take you home." The brunette kneels beside her and when she doesn't get a response she adds, "I thought the migraines had stopped."

"So did I," she says her words are spoken so softly Emily strains to her them. "First one in a while."

Emily moves to the table across the room and fills a glass with water, she reaches J.J. as the others enter the room. "Take a drink for me Jenn." Her words a whisper. Morgan looks to Hotch and then Prentiss. "Migraine." Is her response to the unspoken question.

The blonde raises her head and instantly regrets it as a wave of dizziness and nausea hit her. She becomes more pale, " I'm gonna..." she loses the contents of her stomach.

Rossi hands Emily a handkerchief as she holds the younger agents hair back. Morgan comes over with a wet cloth and Reid turns off the lights. He speaks, "Lights make them worse," but he doesn't tell them the statistics that run through his mind, and everyone is glad.

Emily places the cloth on the back of the blonde's neck and hands her the hanky. She takes it and wipes her mouth, embarrassed as she looks at the guys all looking at her. She relaxes a little when she registers the concern on their faces. The older woman gives them a pointed look and almost as one they understand that they need to give the younger woman some privacy. They go out the door silently.

Hotch turns back to them, " Can you get her home okay?" He leaves as she nods.

"You really need to drink," her words are again gentle. J.J. takes a couple of small sips. "That's good." She begins to rub the blonde's back, a few minutes later she speaks again. "Do you think you can stand?"

"Give me a minute," is her shaky response.

"You take all the time you need, just tell me when you're ready." She pulls the tie out of her hair and uses it to pull J.J.'s off of her neck and out of her face. "Take another drink." She does. Emily puts her hands on her friend's shoulder and rubs gently. "Relax."

The older woman holds back a laugh, settling for a smile, as J.J. grumbles softly, "I think you're having too much fun ordering me around." Her hand goes to her head and she groans. Emily's smile leaves.

A couple of hours later they are at the younger woman's house. The bedroom is bathed in darkness, Emily has the curtains closed and lights out. The blonde has slipped out of her clothes, now wearing only a t-shirt and panties, as the older woman helps her into bed and under the covers. Without thinking, she touches J.J.'s cheek with her fingers as she stands next to the bed, "Sleep Jenn."

"Stay." It wasn't a question from the blonde's lips, just a fact.

She isn't sure what to say, so she is quiet, without words she sits next to her friend.

"Thank you."

"Shhh- just sleep." Emily feels the younger woman's hand touch hers and their fingers slowly lace together. She's suddenly nervous. "Sleep," she whispers.

Hours later Emily still lies on the bed watching the sleeping blonde, their fingers still entwined. She tentatively places her free hand on J.J.'s forehead to check to see if she has a fever, she smiles a little when she sees the woman is fever free. "That's good." Without conscious thought she brushes her thumb over the side of her face, when she realizes her actions she sits up.

Her moment causes the blonde to mumble and moan as she wakes up, "Emily?"

"I'm right here."

She starts to open her eyes but decides against it. "What time is it?"

Emily looks at her watch, "Still early, but it is time for more medicine." She reaches for the pill bottle and the Gatorade on the nightstand, doing so causes her to let go of the other woman's hand. Her first thought is that she misses it, she shakes her head, but smiles. She opens the bottle and gives one to the blonde, then hands her the open drink. She takes the medicine and holds the bottle towards the brunette. "Take one more drink please." She does, the older woman then sets the bottle on the table. As soon as the bottle is gone, J.J. begins to rub her head, "Let me." She rubs her temples, messaging gently.

"Better," she mumbles. "Umm." Emily moves her hands away. " No," she whines, "Don't stop."

"Okay, but let's get better situated, you need to be comfortable." She accesses the scene and decides a course of action. "Can you sit up?"

"I think," she sits up slowly.

As she does, Emily moves onto the bed and sits against the headboard. " Now just lean back." The blonde does and the brunette immediately realizes her mistake. "Shit," she breaths out, then hopes J.J. didn't hear. The more 'comfortable' position causes contact in all the right places. The younger woman now rests against her chest. She closes her eyes and takes s deep breath to center herself, this too is the wrong move as she is inundated with the smell of Jennifer Jareau- her shampoo, her bath soap-her- "Bad," she begins an argument with herself as her mind races. She chastises herself- no thinking bad thoughts-she's your friend and she's sick, just take care of her. After her pep talk she relaxes, and begins to massage a blonde's temples. Within a few minutes she feels the woman drift off to sleep in her arms. She presses a kiss to the top of her head. "That's it sleep."

Morning finds them both sleeping soundly, however their positions have been altered. Emily is lying with her head resting on the pillows and J.J. is lying on Emily. She is now on her stomach, with her head resting on the brunette's chest and her hands fisted in her shirt. Their legs are tangled together and Emily's arms hold her protectively.

J.J. is the first to wake, she mumbles and tentatively opens her eyes, not sure if the pain will still be there. She is confused at first but then remembers that Emily brought her home. "Em," she speaks softly. Her eyes go wide as she realizes her position. She tries to move but can't, as the arms surrounding her tighten. She can't stop the smile, "I wish," she stops her sentence.

Emily's eyes open slowly- it had been a wonderful dream, Jennifer in her arms, she can't stop the smile. The fantasy ends when brown eyes meet soft blue. "Jennifer! I- you- we..." she can't stop the panic.


	3. Chapter 3

I don't own them, CBS does. If they were mind I'd treat them better! Thanks again to those reading and reviewing, it's appreciated.

Secrets: Chapter 3

Emily tries to move, but can't. "I'm-I'm so sorry."

"Hey, relax-it's not your fault, I'm a snuggler." She smiles a nervous smile.

JJ's words calm her, as she tries to stay in control, "Good to know." Unsure of what else to say, but positive silence is not an option, she adds "For future reference." As soon as the words leave her mouth she realizes how they sound and she pales. "I didn't- look I'm just gonna," She panics and sits up causing the blonde to slide into her lap. "Shit," she hisses as arms slip around her waist.

The brunette closes her eyes and fights to control her body, but it doesn't work, she shivers and her breathing speeds up, as she feels a hand stroke her cheek. "Em," she whispers.

Scared brown eyes open to look into reassuring blue, "Jenn," she stops as her mind races with so many emotions. She wants, needs to say so much but before she can her eyes close again as soft lips pressed against hers. They sit like that, lips touching, but neither sure what the other wants. Finally the brunette takes the initiative and moves her lips against the blonde's. The tentative kisses continue for a few minutes, as they break apart both smile and lean their foreheads together.

The older woman blushes as she speaks, "I've wanted to do that for so long."

The younger nods, "Me too."

The kissing starts again, but this time both are more confident. Soft moans slip out as things heat up just a little. JJ lets her legs encircle Emily and pull her closer. The older woman lets her hand glide up and down the blonde's side. Lungs burning they part, only to lean back in again and again, each kiss a little deeper until finally tongues begin to explore.

When the kisses stop JJ traces her thumb along the older woman's jawline. They work to calm their breathing. "You okay?" She can still feel the brunette's unease.

Emily nods, but then speaks,"I just need," she stops, not sure how to say what she needs to say.

The blonde smiles and raises an eyebrow playfully, hoping to give the moment some levity. "Oh yeah?" To her surprise Emily leans forward and kisses her. As the kiss ends and her blue eyes open she sees something in the dark brown orbs that she can't read. She concentrates on the other woman. "You need time?" She fights sudden panic, "Space?" When she doesn't get an answer she touches the brunette's face softly. "It's okay, just talk to me."

Emily decides to hide, "I need coffee, lots of coffee."

The blonde knows what she's doing but she chooses to let her, at least for now. She smiles, "Awe, I should have known." She presses a kiss to her forehead, then untangles her legs from the woman.

Emily frowns as she misses the intimacy immediately, she lets her fingers trace along a bare leg. JJ bites her lip to force away a moan at her touch. "What if I changed my mind?"

The younger woman pushes her playfully, "Go, make coffee, I'll put on some pants." The older woman's frown deepens. The blonde laughs, "Meet you on the couch."

Emily stands, but turns back to look at the blonde. "Jennifer," the blue eyes that look up at her cause her to melt, she can see the trust and caring in them. The flip comment about not putting on pants is left unsaid. "I'll see you downstairs," she says softly as her fingers touch the smooth skin of her leg. Without waiting for a reply she goes quietly out of the room.

JJ gets out of bed, takes a deep breath and blows it out slowly as she runs her fingers through her hair. She smiles as she thinks about Emily-her smile, her soft lips, and the way she feels in her arms. ""Wow! -just wow." The woman who makes her living talking to the media is unable to find the words to express her happiness. She moves to the dresser and pulls out a pair of old, comfy sweat pants and slips into them.

Downstairs, Emily is standing in the kitchen watching the coffee maker actually make coffee. She also has water heating for tea, the blonde won't be happy but she'll have to learn to deal with it. Caffeine would only make her migraine worse. Her mind goes back over the last 24 hours, it had been a helleva ride for sure. First the feeling of loss when she saw Will and Jennifer kissing, to now, them kissing, it was a lot- one thing for sure, there was no going back now. That thought was both wonderful and terrifying, she didn't know what she would do if she lost Jennifer's friendship.

A few minutes later she walks into the living room to find it still empty. She puts her coffee and the blonde's decaffeinated tea on the table in front of the couch, then sits and nervously waits for the other woman.

She hears her before she sees her, "That coffee smells so good." Brown eyes meet blue as she moves into the room and sits beside the older woman.

"Sorry darling but it's decaffeinated tea for you," she hands her the mug. JJ smiles and kisses her cheek. "That's not the reaction I expected, you okay?"

She blushes but nods, "You called me darling."

It's now Emily's turn to blush. " It just-is it," she does know what to say.

JJ takes her hand which helps her relax a bit, "I like it." She smiles . She decides to start the conversation they need to have jokingly, "So ah- better now- with the coffee?"

The older woman takes another drink, then nods with a smile, "A bit," she says honestly. Her eyes meet shining blue. "You know this is crazy, right?"

"Crazy?" She gets nervous, worried that Emily will try to say they shouldn't be together.

She sets her coffee mug down and faces her friend, "I mean I've thought about this-for a long time." She stops and bites her bottom lip. "I want it, I do- but I don't know how to do this," she gestures between the two of them. "I'm almost 34 and by no means innocent, but I've never felt this- whatever this is between us." She tears up slightly and she decides that trying to explain what she feels isn't possible, so she just shows her love. One by one the compartments open, she allows the blonde to see her, all of her, for the first time. She sees the trust the older woman has in her, the love, and the fear that the love won't be returned.

Before she can say anything else the younger woman leans forward, pulls her into her arms, and kisses her. The kiss becomes hard and needy, quickly. Hands tangle into dark hair and soon the blonde is sitting in her lap, legs pulling her closer, so that they are chest to chest. They break apart needing air, " You know I feel the same, right?"

Emily smiles and runs her hand under the back of the blonde's sleep shirt, causing the warm skin to pebble with goose bumps. "I do now."

They relax against each other, hands lightly touching warm skin. "Can we stay like this forever?" The younger woman asks in a whisper.

"Um-if that's what you want, absolutely." She pulls back just enough to press their lips together. "No,"she whines as she realizes, "I have to go to work." She strokes the blonde's cheek, "You be okay?"

"No," she pouts, "I'll miss you." She puts her hand on Emily's neck and pulls her forward so their lips meet. When the kiss ends she looks into soft brown eyes that show a little worry. "The migraine is mostly gone, I'll be fine." She kisses her again.

"I'll call Hotch and let him know I'll be late, then I'll fix you breakfast, you can spend the day napping and I'll bring dinner on my way home. How's that sound?"

JJ smiles, "I like the sound of that."

After another soft kiss, Emily again extracts herself from the snuggler- with some regret, she stands. The blonde smiles as she watches her go into the kitchen. When she can't see her anymore she stretches out on the couch.

A little after 10 Emily walks into the bullpen of the BAU and sits down at her desk. She smiles as her eyes look up to JJ's office. Her mind wanders to the morning, to blue eyes, soft lips -and god those legs. She bites her bottom lip and then licks it.

Morgan smiles when he sees her, hoping her mood is because she found the nerve to talk to JJ. "Nice of you to join us."

She comes back to the here and now, "Did I miss anything?"

"Paperwork," he leans against her desk. "How's JJ?"

"Better," she smiles, "She was napping when I left." He raises an eyebrow, "What?" She asks unsure.

"Did you talk?" She nods. "And?" Her smile brightens. "I was right?" He smiles and repeats. "I was right!"

"I'm never going to hear the end of this am I? I mean everyone's right sometime." She teases.

"Just say it," he smiles. " Say you were right Derek."

She rolls her eyes but they are shining, " Say you were right Derek," she laughs.

"That'll cost you," he pushes off her desk and starts to his.

"Hey Morgan" he faces her. "You were right and I owe you." She smiles.

"That right there-that's enough, Princess."

She nods, " Ah- this is between us okay-just for a while." He nods.

Later that evening Emily opens the door with the spare key JJ had given her earlier. She carries in a bag of groceries, she smiles when she sees the blonde asleep on the couch, but frowns when she notices the pill bottle on the table beside her. She stops to press her lips to JJ's forehead and then goes into the kitchen.

The blonde on the couch begins to stir as the smell of food fills the air. She opens her eyes slowly but then squints, her head still aching. The thought of food makes her smile, that smile grows when she realizes that it means Emily is home. "Home," she whispers and then blushes. She stands and walks towards the kitchen.

Emily is stirring food on two different burners with her back to the door, so she is startled when she feels arms slip around her waist. She smiles when lips press against the back of her neck. "Glad you're back," whispers the blonde. The older woman turns in her arms and they share a chaste kiss.

She kisses JJ again. "Glad to be back." She turns back to the stove and turns the burners off. "I hope you like spaghetti," she glances to see the blonde nod. "Good." She moves from her arms to drain the pasta.

"What can I do to help?"

She sets the pan in the sink, "You can crawl back on the couch for about fifteen more minutes, I'll call you when it's ready."

"Em- I can set the table."

The older woman puts her hands on her girl's shoulders, then touches her cheeks with her thumbs. "Let me do this please?"

"You saw the pill bottle?"

"I did and I know your migraines linger, so just let me do this okay?"

"Okay, but I'm helping clean up."

"We'll talk about," she kisses her on the forehead. "Now go-rest." With a playful growl the blonde leaves the room. Emily smiles, she thought it would be harder, she frowns, it should have been. She wonders just how bad her girl really feels.

Thirty minutes later they are at the table eating. The blonde's color is a little better, the brunette can tell she feels better. "This is really good," their eyes meet, "but you didn't have to go to all this trouble."

Emily smiles- as she lets her fingers lace with JJ's, " It wasn't any trouble," she blushes a bit. "I love to cook."

"This is going to work out well then-I love to eat." She smiles, brings the other woman's hand to her lips and kisses it.

Later they wash dishes and clean the kitchen together though Emily tries to get the younger woman to rest. They work in comfortable quiet, it seems natural like it was something they had always done.

Afterward they lie snuggled on the couch, Emily is spooned around the sleeping blonde. The tv plays but the volume is off. The older woman glances at the clock, when she sees the time she realizes she should go so her girl can get some real rest. " Darling," she says softly, as she lets her fingers ghost along her girl's cheek. JJ turns to face her, her eyes opening slowly. "It's late, I should go."

Blue eyes meet brown, "Stay," she says simply.

Emily kisses her softly, "I want to-but I don't think we," she stops to try to order her thoughts-find the right words. She doesn't want to rush things.

The younger woman blushes, "I didn't mean-last night was nice."

"It was," she understands, "Okay, I'll be back." When JJ looks confused she adds, "My go bag is in the car." She kisses her and gets up. The blonde takes her hand, Emily grins and leans in for another soft kiss. When they part, she goes to the door and out.

The blonde can't stop the smile, "This is really happening." She tries to wrap her mind around the last couple of days. She closes her eyes and remembers. The ring of the phone interrupts her replay of events. Her thought is work, but when she sees the name displayed she knows it's worse. "Will-hey," she squeezes her eyes closed, the headache begins again as a wave of dizziness follows.


	4. Chapter 4

So, once again I don't own them or get money for writing about them, they belong to CBS. Thanks for the reading and especially reviewing, it's good to know someone is out there.

Secrets: Chapter 4

When Emily comes back inside, she sees JJ with the phone against her head and her eyes tightly closed. "Jennifer?" When she doesn't get an answer she drops her bag by the door and rushes toward her. Once she is closer she can see her cheeks are wet with tears, she sits across from her on the coffee table. With a gentle hand on the blonde's knee she speaks again, "Darling, what's wrong?"

JJ opens her eyes as the tears continue, "I forgot," she puts the phone on the table, and wipes at the tears that won't stop falling, "Will's coming tomorrow."

The brunette moves her hand from the younger woman's leg, like she was burned, suddenly feeling she has no right to touch her. "So-ah," she stops and stands, she fights hard not to bail, though her entire being screams for her to run, to protect herself. "JJ," She looks into the confused blue eyes of the woman she loves and sees her pain. She forces her own panic away and sits beside her on the couch. "Jennifer," she takes her hand. "Tell me how I can help." The blonde falls into her arms and holds on tightly, hands fisting into her shirt. Emily runs a soothing hand along her back. "Shhh it'll be okay. I'm right here, it'll be okay."

Hours later they lie on JJ's bed spooned together, Emily still trying to comfort her. They talk quietly as tears have returned. She presses a kiss to the back of the blonde's head and squeezes her. "He'll understand," she whispers.

"How?" Her girl whispers back. "How can he when-when I don't?"

The only answer Emily can give seems too simple-but still true. "I can't explain it, he just will."

The younger woman turns in her arms so that she can look at her, "Maybe-I mean he understood about Charlie."

"Will is a good guy-he'll be confused, but it'll be okay." What she wants to say is that if he loves you, like I love you, he'll just want you to be happy.

JJ snuggles closer and tangles her hands into the brunette's sleep shirt. "Thank you," she whispers, "for understanding-for," again she stops before the 'L' word slips out, but then decides it's true so why hide it, "for loving me."

Emily presses a chaste kiss to her lips and then pulls back, "You say that like it's a hard thing, Jennifer, it's hard not to, trust me I've tried. She smiles and kisses her again. "I love you," she breaths as their lips separate.

"I love you." She smiles as her eyes close. She can feel the headache trying to fight it's way back in.

Before the sun rises JJ wakes up, she smiles as she sees Emily lying under her. She presses a kiss to her lips. The older woman mumble-a whine really, causes the blonde to kiss her again-just to wake her up. Brown eyes open slowly-she frowns, JJ laughs.q

Emily raises an eyebrow, "Going to pay for waking me up."

Blue eyes shine, "I am, am I?" She squeaks as she finds herself being flipped and surprise fills her eyes as the brunette sits on her.

The older woman smiles down at her girl, she playfully tickles her. JJ doesn't laugh- and she notices that the blonde is a little pale. "You okay?"

The younger woman forces a smile, "I'm fine," she lies, the dizziness and nausea hitting her. She closes her eyes but that only makes it worse. She scrambles from under the brunette and toward the bathroom, Emily follows and holds back blonde hair as her girl throws up.

Later they lie snuggled face to face, "Sure you don't want your migraine medicine?"

"No, I'm better, not dizzy." She presses a kiss to Emily's lips.

"But your head hurts?" The no answer is an answer. "Why don't you want to take it?"

"It makes me sleepy," she looks sad.

"You need sleep," worry fills her words.

"I need to be able to," she stops then starts again. "I promise if it gets worse, I'll take it."

"Okay, let's get some more sleep then." She kisses her softly and JJ snuggles closer.

The next time they wake up, it is much more enjoyable. Emily wakes to find herself tangled with the blonde on top of her. She smiles and runs her hands down her girl's back, then up to her shoulders. She closes her eyes as she feels lips pressed to her chest, then her neck. She shivers as she moans out, "Morning."

JJ stops long enough to reply, "Morning," then lips go back to skin. When she hears another soft moan and feels hands slip under her sleep shirt, she looks up into dark brown eyes and smiles.

The brunette licks her own lip and then worries it with the teeth, "You feel better?"

The blonde moves up her body and nods. She leans in and captures the lip between her own. She sucks it, then licks it before she kisses her slowly-tantalizingly.

Finally she breaks the kiss, both are out of breath-lungs burn, hearts race, and the blonde's hands are in new places. Emily finds words, "Jenn- what you do to me," she moans and arches into her touch.

When the younger woman realizes what she's doing and where her hands are she moves them quickly away. She blushes a bright shade of red and drops her head to her girlfriend's chest- beyond embarrassed.

"Darling, I wasn't complaining," she clarifies with a smile. She worries when she hears the blonde mumble to herself. She playfully roles her eyes as she formulates a plan to make the girl relax. She sits up knowing this will put the blonde in her lap and force eye contact. Without thought the younger woman wraps her legs around the older and they are now chest to chest and eye to eye. "You know," she starts with a chaste kiss to the lips in front of her, "I love this," she lets her hands caress JJ's legs, "with you." Emily swallows nervously, expressing her emotions had never been easy. She leans into the hand that touches her cheek and continues. "The closeness-you surrounding me-I feel safe." She bites her bottom lip at the confession.

Blue eyes search brown, making sure that her love can see that she means the words she's about the say, "You are safe Em." They hold each other tightly for a few silent moments, before the buzzing of Emily's alarm interrupts them.

"Don't want to go," whines the brunette as she closes her eyes and rests her head on the blonde's shoulder. After a few seconds longer in her arms she raises her head, "But, I have to." She begins to unwrap the younger woman from around her. As she does she runs her hands along tanned, toned legs. She kisses her again, when it ends JJ falls back onto the bed dramatically. They both laugh, but it is followed by a moan from the younger woman as Emily leans down to kiss her again, her finger tips ghosting along those legs, dangerously close to unexplored territory. The older woman forces herself to remove her hands from her girl and stands up. "Shower," she states as she leaves the room. She mumbles to herself, "Cold shower."

JJ and Emily both glance at the clock in the kitchen. "Go, I'm fine- his plane lands at six-we'll talk." She is noticeably nervous.

"Are you sure you don't want me to be here?"

"I do, but I honestly think it'll be easier if it's just us-does that make sense?"

Emily nods, "It does," she stands, they share one more kiss and a hug. When they separate she adds, "Come by my place after?"

"I'm not- are you sure?"

"Absolutely," she presses another kiss to her lips. "I love you."

The blonde nods, "I know," she smiles as she puts her hands on the brunette's shoulders. "I love you, be safe." Emily hugs her tightly, then leaves.

Once she is gone, the tears finally fall. The blonde's mind is a jumbled mess, she is worried about hurting him, about hurting Emily and the headache just won't go away. She takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly as she tries to compose herself. "I can do this," she whispers but her words lack conviction.

At the BAU Morgan notices that Emily checks her watch again. He gets up from his desk, walks across and sits on hers. "I need a break," he says, "buy you a cup of coffee?"

She nods and chews on her bottom lip, " Yeah, sure."

They both stand and walk to the break area. As he pours the coffee he begins to talk, "So what's up-you've been checking your watch."

She rolls her eyes, "What happened to the no profiling each other rule?"

He looks concerned, "Not profiling, just worried."

"Will's coming in tonight, JJ's going to tell him-I feel so-I just wish I was there."

"You afraid she'll change her mind?"

Emily shakes her head, then shrugs, "My head knows, my heart-I don't give it easily and Derek," she fights unexpected tears. "I won't- if she picks," her words stop. She bites her lip.

Morgan looks unsure, he has never seen his friend so exposed. " Let's get out of here."

She protests, "It's not even five."

"Get your stuff together and meet me at the elevator in ten, I'll take care of it." He walks away before she can question any more.

She tries to put her emotions in their compartments and when she does she walks to her desk.

Later that evening JJ is pacing nervously around the living room and nearly jumps at the knock on the door. She takes a deep breath and exhales slowly as she crosses to answer it. After checking the peep hole she opens the door.

Will smiles as he sees her, "Hey Cher."

"Hey," she speaks softly.

He moves toward her and she hugs him, when he tries to kiss her she turns her head and lets go of him. As she steps back his smile falters, "JJ what's wrong?"

"We need to talk."

"Talk- no conversation that starts with those words is ever good."

She looks away, "Do you want a beer?" She tries to find a way to stall the inevitable and lessen the hurt.

"Yeah, probably should." He follows her into the kitchen.

The blonde opens the refrigerator and gets out one. She closes the door, opens the beer and hands it to him. He leans against the bar and she leans against the counter. He takes a long pull and then looks at her. Nervously she starts, " Will-I- I don't know an easy way."

"Just Say it JJ," he takes another drink.

"I like you-I do- but I don't love you." She stops as tears fall, "and it's not fair for me to," she shakes her head.

He smiles a sad smile-his worst fears realized- as he moves toward her and hugs her, he kisses the top of her head and whispers, "I know." He takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly as he looks up at the ceiling and then back down. "I've known." She looks into his eyes unsure and he takes a step away from her.

"Known?" She is more confused.

"That you were struggling with something. I thought it was the long distance thing, till Florida and Charlie." He stops to let her soak in the words.

As she processes , she starts to cry. "I wanted to love you-I tried."

"I know," he moves closer and wipes her tears. "I know, but it's hard to do-when you love someone else." Their eyes meet. "I love you and I want you to be happy." She nods as the tears continue. "I want you and Emily to be happy. Are you?"

She nods again, "How did you," he hugs her tightly.

He forces a cocky smile, "I might not be a profiler, but I'm not blind," she coughs out a laugh and he kisses her forehead. "Go wash you face Jareau." She raises a confused eyebrow. "I came all this way and we got reservations- let's have dinner, just friends."

"You're sure?" He nods. "You're a good man William LaMontange Jr."

He teases, "Sure, now you see it." He winks. "Go." She leaves the room and he leans against the bar, his heart broken.

Later after dinner they are standing at the door to JJ's house. She holds his hand and fights tears, "I'll miss you," she admits as she bites her lip.

"Yeah, well you won't be an easy one to forget."

"You still have my number, friends talk."

He isn't sure Emily would like that, "Maybe," he stops and starts again, "Give me sometime?" She nods. "I'm gonna go."

She opens the door and then hugs him, "I am sorry."

He nods, "Me too." He kisses her forehead. "I'll see you." He lies and she watches him walk away. Tears fall again and her headache follows.

Emily sits on the couch with her phone in hand. She is nervously waiting for word from JJ. It is nearly midnight and the blonde hasn't called or returned the text she sent nearly an hour ago. She decides she needs a shower and a drink and not necessarily in that order. Her mind has been playing every worse case scenario, the last being Will had taken her and they were on their way to Cajun country. She laughs out loud at the silliness of the idea, JJ was a trained FBI agent and she wasn't going to be taken anywhere she didn't want to go. "Relax Prentiss, she'll call." As the words leave her mouth she hears a knock at the door. She puts the phone down and goes to answer it. She opens it to find her girl there, her eyes are red and swollen. "Darling," the blonde moves into Emily's arms and sobs as she lays her head on her chest.

An hour later they sit on the couch, tangled together. "He knew," she says softly, her fingers playing with Emily's.

The older woman smiles, "Yeah, well, I'm beginning to think we are the only ones who didn't."

Blue eyes meet brown, "Who else knows?" She seems worried.

The brunette's stomach does a flip, uneasy because that bothers the blonde. "Morgan and probably Garcia." She bites her lip. "Hell, maybe all of them." JJ is more nervous. "Does it matter?"

"Not really," she kisses her softly. "I'd just like to keep you all to myself for a while."

"Hmm-that would be nice." She kisses her girl, their lips finding a perfect rhythm. They open and close to the matching beat of their hearts. When they finally break apart, breathless- Emily leans her forehead against JJ's and struggles to speak, "Dinner tomorrow night?" She smiles.

"A date?" Blue eyes shine.

The brunette nods, "A real date."

"I could cook."

Emily shakes her head, "Not tomorrow-tomorrow we go out."

"We go out," she smiles nervously. "Out on a date-okay."

The older woman looks at her and cups her cheek in her hand, "Scary?"

"A little," she admits, it's a big step for the East Alleghany girl.

"Can you tell me why?" She knows why, but she also knows saying it out loud will help the younger woman process it.

"I can try," but before any more words are spoken she playfully pushes Emily onto her back. Brown eyes meet blue with a raised brow. "I want to snuggle while we talk." The older woman smiles and pulls her down on top of her and holds her close. They talk, wrapped up in each other for hours, until the sun finds its way into the morning sky.

This chapter just didn't want to end.


	5. Chapter 5

And again, don't own them- wish I did, but alas CBS does.

Secrets: Chapter 5

Time passes, days turn to weeks. The couple has grown closer, they spend their days together at work and their nights at either JJ's house or Emily's condo.

They have spent hours talking; they talked about growing up, the blonde talked about life in a small town, how everyone knew everything that happened. She cried as she talked about her sister's suicide and how it tore apart her family. The older woman held her close as she tried to be strong, but failed.

Then roles were reversed a few days later as Emily revealed what her childhood was like. Traveling from country to country sounds amazing until you're actually doing it. She tells how hard it was trying to learn the language, but she did, because she wanted to make friends-she would do anything to belong-and she did anything. JJ listened without judgement as she told about her reckless teenage years-rebellion against her uncaring parents-parties filled with drinking, drugs, and sex. The last of which had left her pregnant at 15. Hesitantly, she told her lover about the decision she had made out of fear. She broke down in the younger woman's arms as she confessed to the abortion she had and how nearly twenty years later she still wished she could go back, make a different choice.

They talked about the changes in their dynamic, their dreams for the future, and when to tell the team. It's not that they want to keep things secret, they just like their time alone-together.

A quiet Sunday, their first day off in nearly two weeks, finds them snuggled together on the couch. JJ sleeps against Emily's chest, her hands holding tightly to her Yale t-shirt. The older woman's arms encircle her, one hand rests on the blonde's back and the other on her hip. She smiles and presses a kiss to the top of her head. She still has a hard time believing this is real-that Jennifer is with her-but moments like this assure her. She lets her hand stroke down the younger woman's leg and back to her hip, when she hears a mumble she repeats the action. She bites her bottom lip as blue eyes look up and her. "Nice nap?"

"Uh huh."

"That's good, are you feeling better?" The hand on JJ's back rubs soothing circles.

"Uh huh," she presses her lips to the brunette's neck.

Emily moans softly, "That's nice, but you should rest."

"Did rest," blue eyes shine and the blonde smiles, as her lips kiss the brunette's chest, her neck and finally her lips.

The older woman sits up and the younger moves onto her lap. JJ's legs pull her closer as she wraps them around her. Lips meet again and again, short kisses that begin to linger as desire builds. They finally break apart, struggling for air, their lungs burning, but hands continue to tease-excite as they slip under clothes. Seconds later they dive back in- tongues explore, shirts disappear, as passion and need take over.

Later they lie spent-under a blanket- lips still pressing against skin. JJ rests her head on Emily's shoulder, eyes struggle to stay open. A cell phone rings and they both groan. "Can't move," admits the blonde, though she forces her eyes open.

Emily smiles mischievously, "Parts of me can," she moves her fingers, to prove her words.

The younger woman moans, "Em." She bites her lip as her eyes close at the intimate touch.

The older woman raises an eyebrow, "Yes, Jenn."

She forces her dark blue eyes to open, "I-um- we should," she can't order her thoughts.

A smirk from the brunette, "Want me to stop,Darling?"

"Yes- no-no, don't stop," Emily smiles, "Don't stop," JJ whispers as her eyes drift closed.

As Emily reaches a rhythm and the blonde gets lost again, both phones rings. The older agent growls and grabs a phone. Her fingers continue to please her girl. "Prentiss," her voice all business.

Blue eyes open as her mind begins to register what is happening, she whispers warningly, "Emily."

Emily smiles playfully, as her fingers move faster as she works to drive her girl to the edge and over. "Today?" She smirks as she watches JJ struggle to keep from crying out as she falls hard.

When the call ends, the blonde makes a promise, "You are so gonna pay for that Prentiss."

"I hear you Jareau, I hear you." She winks, kisses her softly, and then pulls her into a tight hug.

Realization makes it through her sex addled brain. She pulls back so that she can see Emily's eyes, "They called Hotch, not me-it's bad isn't it?"

"Missing kids in Tennessee, the third one was taken about thirty minutes ago. Wheels up as soon as everyone's abroad- he said ASAP, we will brief in the air.

A little over an hour later they are on the plane with the rest of the team. They listen as Garcia gives them the latest details. "I don't have much -yet- but what I do know is that the latest victim is Matthew Roberts," a picture of a blue eyed blonde shows on the screen. "He lives about two miles from the first boy taken and five from the second."

"How old is he Garcia?" Emily asks.

"He's four like the others," she supplies.

"And obviously blonde as well," Dave doesn't like what is adding up in his mind.

Morgan's frown grows, as he has reached the same conclusion as Rossi. "So he has a type."

"A type?" Garcia looks unsure.

JJ looks away and tries to stay in control, when she regains her composure, she meets his eyes, "So you think it's a sexual predator?"

"I think it's where we should start."

"I agree. Garcia I need a list of all the registered sex offenders in the area." Hotch states.

"It's running as we speak, I'll hit you back when I know something." The screen goes dark.

Hotch looks at his team, "When we land I want Morgan and Prentiss at the last crime scene. Rossi, you and JJ talk to the parents, see if anything was missed. Reid and I will go to the station and get things set up there. Questions?"

"What about a press conference?" The blonde looks at her boss.

"I'll need you to organize that once you're back from the interviews." She nods.

He walks to the back of the plane and sits down. His face stoic, hard to read as he looks down at his phone and the picture of his son there. He opens the case file once again.

Reid draws on a map, Rossi writes in his notepad, and Morgan tries to calm his demons with his headphones securely in place, music soft and soothing.

JJ stares out the window and worries about the little boys. She can't get the little blue eyed blondes out of her mind. She looks up as Emily sits down across from her, "Why did they wait so long?"

The older agent shakes her head, " Small town, they've never seen anything like this," she tries.

The younger woman shakes her head, "All the more reason, the first one's been gone two days, there's no way he isn't ," she stops as tears form but don't fall.

"Dar," she catches herself, "JJ- he probably is, but we can't worry about that-as hard as it sounds-we just have to do our job and hope we can put together a profile that helps us find them and the unsub." She lets her hand touch the blonde's leg under the table.

She nods her understanding, her hand finding Emily's and holding it. "I hate this."

"Me too," she admits.

The plane lands and the team separates to do their jobs. At the park Morgan and Prentiss look around the area, the only thing that gets their attention is an ice cream truck. Kids line up to get treats, some are with adults and some are with other kids or alone. Morgan raises an eyebrow, "Think this guy's been here all day?"

"It's worth a try," they walk up to the window, she holds up her badge, "We need to ask you a few questions."

"I'm kinda busy," states the forty something man handing out treats. "Can you come back in a couple of hours."

"That's not an option," Morgan informs him.

The man glares at him but turns his attention to the agents. "Whats this about? I got all my paperwork, not sure why you're hassling me now."

"You watch the news?" Morgan is getting angry.

"Been here since 9 this morning, my afternoon guy didn't show."

Emily meets his eyes, "We're going to need his information."

"His name is David Vincent Hopkins."

Morgan walks away as Emily continues to question the man. "Baby Girl- I need everything you can find on David Vincent Hopkins."

"Is he-never mind I'll find what you need, you'll have it as soon as I do. Out." Penelope is gone. He stares at his phone, then shakes his head. "That woman." He looks up as the other agent approaches him. "The guy give you anything useful?"

"Not really. What about Garcia?"

They walk toward the SUV, "She'll let us know."

At the station Reid is plotting points on a large map of the area. As he enters the last piece of information he steps back to look over it as a whole. As he studies it, Hotch walks in followed by Morgan and Prentiss.

"Anything stand out?" Asks the unit chief.

"See this area?" He moves to the map and circles a spot with the sharpie, "It's still somewhat speculative but I'd say this is his comfort zone."

Emily moves to his side, "That's a lot of ground to cover."

Rossi walks in as Morgan's phone beeps. " You're on speaker Garcia."

The tech speaks, " Joseph Vincent Hopkins is a perv, but not our perv."

"How can you be sure?" Morgan asks.

"He prefers-no, not- His info is on its way to your tablets, make it hurt when you arrest him." She is again gone before he can respond.

Emily looks at the file Garcia sent, "He has a predilection for prepubescent girls." She shakes her head.

Morgan tries to control his anger, "That sick son of bitch was hunting from the ice cream truck."

"I'll make sure the sheriff sends someone to pick him up for parole violation." Hotch assures the agent. "Do we have anything else?" He looks at Rossi.

"All three families seem sincere in their grief-I don't think they're involved."

Reid frowns as he realizes he is missing plot points, "Do we have their work addresses?"

Rossi looks through his notes and then hands it to the genesis, who begins to work on his map again.

A few minutes later the sheriff walks in noticeably shaken. All eyes are on him as he speaks, "We have a body."

Emily looks away suddenly worried about her girlfriend, "Rossi where's Jennifer?" Her eyes meet his.

"Working on the press release."

The blonde steps in the room, her eyes go from Emily to Hotch, "We got a call, another boy was just taken." The older woman moves to stand next to her.

Hotch looks at his team trying to gauge their emotional state. He can tell that both Emily and Morgan are angry, while Rossi and Reid are trying to glean all the information they can from the sheriff's posture. He can't get any kind of read on the liaison, her emotions are all over the place. He decides on assignments. "Dave, take Morgan and Reid with you, go to the new crime scene, make sure to lock it down-interview everyone there. Nobody leaves until Garcia gives the okay."

The sheriff speaks, "Take as many deputies as you need."

Rossi looks at Hotch but doesn't question his decision, he isn't sure why but knows there is a reason.

He looks at Emily and JJ, "You two are with me." JJ looks like she is about to ask a question but he turns his attention to the sheriff. "If you could show us where the body was found?"

"It's in the middle of no where-an old road nobody uses any more." He starts for the door and Hotch follows.

The older woman meets the eyes of the younger as they start out the door, she can see her baby blues are rimmed with tears. She doesn't speak, she simply places her hand in the small of the blonde's back and they walk to join the others.

JJ speaks softly as she buckles her seatbelt in the back of the SUV, "I'm okay." She lets her hand brush against Emily's leg, as she forces a brave face.

The brunette just nods her understanding, she knows that's code for 'This sucks, but we have a job to do.' "He'll pay for this." She responds softly. "Promise." The car becomes quiet as she slides her hand next to her girl's.

Morgan, Rossi and Reid are at the abduction site, the soccer field bleachers are filled with over 100 people. "All these people and he was able to take a kid- he's good at what he does."

Rossi nods his agreement, "He's older, he's careful, controlled-he's done this before some place else."

"He knows them or he has done something to gain there trust." Reid adds.

"Reid's right, no way this many people didn't see or hear a struggle, he went willingly." Morgan's frustration rises.

"Maybe some type of ruse," the oldest agent speculates. "I'll talk to the parents, the two of you start the interviews." The men nod and walk toward the bleachers.

When the SUV comes to a stop on the isolated road, those inside step out to survey the area. Hotch speaks, "Agents," then walks away from the sheriff and his deputies. They stop a few feet from the roped off scene. "Whoever did this is local," he looks back toward the others, then at Prentiss and Jareau.

"You knew that before you sent the others to the abduction sight?" Emily looks at her boss.

"I suspected it, but after seeing the location, I'm certain." He affirms.

She now understands why the assignments were made the way they were. " You think they're here?"

"I think they're involved and could be here. The two of you are not as intimidating, they won't get defensive if you're asking questions."

"Because we're women?" JJ is trying not to get angry.

"The unsub will see women and not agents, that will be a mistake." His eyes meet hers and he knows she understands.

"Prentiss you take a couple of the deputies and see if you can find another way in or out." She nods and walks away from them. "JJ, I'll check the body and you see if you can get information about the people here." He starts to walks away.

"Hotch?" He stops and goes back to the younger agent. "Let me check the body." She tries to calm her words. He looks unsure. "I know I'll probably- it'll be hard but, the unsub will see weakness and get overconfident." He sees she is struggling, but agrees with her plan.

"You're sure?"

She gives a nervous laugh, "I'm sure I want this son of a bitch to fry, is that good enough?"

He nods, "It is for me."

With a slow breath in and out she goes toward the body of the little boy. Hotch watches, but then turns away to return to the sheriff.

As the young agent approaches the taped off area, she hesitates as she sees the blonde hair. She mumbles to herself, "You can do this, Jareau ." Two deputies look up when she ducks under the tape and stands next to the little boy. She takes out her badge, "Jennifer Jareau, BAU."

The men look at each other and can barely keep from scoffing. "FBI?"

She nods as she looks nervous.

The older speaks first, "Deputy Mark Wilson." He reaches to shake her hand and she does tentatively.

The other man introduces himself, "Deputy John David Franklin."

"Any idea how long he's been here or how he died?" She kneels next to the boy, she struggles for composer, as she starts to mentally catalogue what she sees. The first thing that strikes her is that he has been hastily redressed, the buttons on his shirt aren't even and his shoes aren't tied. She looks up, fighting back tears as the deputy speaks.

"Doc hasn't touched anything, your boss told him not to."

"Right," her voice cracks and she looks embarrassed. "But you guys have an idea though?"

The older man nods, " Probably been dead since yesterday, he was taken the day before. That's how it usually happens right? The perv kills them in the first 24 hours."

"Usually," she agrees, her emotions near the surface.

The other deputy looks at the body, then the blonde woman. "Do you think you'll find the other three before they die?"

JJ meets his eyes, "If we can get something from the scene or the body-then yes- if he was careful, honestly it's a long shot."

"What exactly are you hoping to find? DNA-finger prints?"

She nods and turns back to the child. She continues to look at him and then the ground around him. A few tears escape as she slips on gloves before touching his face, then turning his head slightly. She doesn't see anything helpful, but he doesn't feel overly cold. "What was the weather like last night?"

"Fifties, how is that important?"

She doesn't answer as she notes that the boy's body and clothes are both clean. She stands and motions for the ME to take over the scene. As she steps away the deputies follow her, "Is that it?" Asks the older man.

"I have a few questions, if you have time- if not we can do it later." She looks from one to the other.

"Now is better, don't you think since we're against the clock." Mark looks at the blonde unsure.

"So who found the body?"

The man looks at her, "Anonymous tip."

"Who was first on scene?"

Franklin answers, "I was. He was laid out like that, almost like he was sleeping."

"You didn't see or hear a car?"

"No, no vehicle." He shakes his head.

She continues to ask questions, "How close is the nearest house?"

Wilson answers, "More than three miles west of here, but it's been abandoned for years. The old Harris place, they moved away back in 97."

"Do you have any trouble with teenagers hanging out here?" She looks at the men, they seem unsure. "I'm from a small town- nothing to do so, we made our own fun."

"Lovers' lane- that's on the other side of town." The older man states.

She turns as she hears Hotch call her name, "I need to see what he found, excuse me." She starts back across the field.

When she reaches him she takes a deep breath and runs her hands over her face. He can tell she had a harder time than she expected. "Prentiss just got back, the two of you head to the station. I want to oversee the transport and talk with the ME."

She can't seem to find her voice, she nods and moves quickly towards the SUV. She gets in the passenger side and buckles up without looking at her girl. She knows tears will fall if she does and she really wants to hold it together until they get away from the scene.

The older agent drives in silence, she keeps her eyes on the road but her hand takes JJ's. Thirty minutes later they reach the police station, once inside the older agent leads the younger into the women's restroom. Out of sight, behind closed doors she pulls her into a hug. The younger woman melts into the safety of her arms and the tears fall. "I got you Darling." She kisses her temple and whispers in her ear. "Always."

JJ breaths out barely audible, "He was so little." Emily just holds tighter. "He must have been so scared. We've got to find them." She pulls away and their eyes meet, both blue and brown wet with tears.

The older agent presses a kiss to her lips, when they separate she wipes her eyes. "We need to talk to Garcia." JJ cleans up her face as Emily gets out her phone and presses a few buttons.

"Office of the all knowing oracle, how can I save your ass today?"

She can't help but smile, though it doesn't last long, "I've got a list of names."

"Give'em to me Princess."

CM...CM...CM...CM...CM...CM...CM...CM...

Sorry it took so long. Not sure I can write a case, but it's necessary for plot movement. So it might be slow until that part is finished. Don't give up on me.


	6. Chapter 6

Secrets: Chapter 6

Don't own them, wish I did.

The team meets in the conference room, less than an hour later. Rossi addresses the group-Hotch is still with the coroner. "The house was a wash, nobody's been there in years."

JJ is instantly deflated, she had hoped this would be the break they needed. She walks away from the group.

Emily watches concerned. They all know time is running out for the remaining three boys.

Hotch walks in and to the boards, he begins to write under the second picture. "The victim was Evan Fisher."

JJ turns to him, "The second boy taken, not the first?" She walks toward Emily and stands close, waiting for answer that doesn't come.

"The coroner put the time of death at roughly four hours. He was suffocated, most likely with a pillow." He turns to his team.

"The time of death would mean it was almost exactly twenty-four hours from the time he was taken." He checks his watch and they all understand that means They have less than 16 hours to find Matthew. He walks to the map, adds the location of the body and the latest abduction site. He studies it carefully.

Rossi looks at the team-his family- their anxiety feels the room. "The interviews didn't give us much, nobody saw or heard anything out of the ordinary. He's good at what he does, he doesn't throw up red flags and he is part of this community. We aren't going to find him on the sex offenders list. He hasn't been caught."

Emily brushes JJ's back as she walks towards the map. "The dump site could have been accessed by the road we used," she shows them on the map, " or by the trail that runs along the ridge." She adds the push pins. "It just strengthens Rossi's assessment, he knows the area, he lives here and has for a long time."

Morgan look unsure, "Are we saying it's a cop?"

"It's a strong possibility, it fits the profile. He would be trusted and respected."

Emily's phone rings before he can add to his reasoning. She answers it by putting it on speaker, "What did you find Garcia?"

The tech's voice fills the room, "All of the deputies, crime scene techs and emergency personnel are local. They were born and raised in the immediate area. A few left and came back, that list is on the way to your tablets."

JJ is the first to pull up the information, the others gather around her. "Only six names."

Emily reads over the blonde's shoulder, her hand rests on her waist. "Thomas Baker was part of my search group, he seemed surprised when we found the trail."

"Surprised it was there or that it was found?" Asks Hotch.

The brunette thinks about the deputy's reaction, "He didn't know it was there."

"Carson was at the abduction site with us, he was one of the first officers to respond. Unless the children are being hidden near the soccer field he wouldn't have had time to take the boy and be in the initial search group." Reid's words are spoken with confidence.

Rossi speaks next, "Davis was with the parents when we arrived, the timing doesn't work for him either."

"And Edmonds is too young, our unsub is too controlled, methodical- he's at least thirty, maybe older. He's not new at this."

"That leaves John David Franklin and Mark Wilson," JJ states. "Neither liked the fact that we were here. Franklin was first on scene and Wilson told me about the house that was a dead end."

Hotch reads his tablet and adds, "Both are ex military, both are single. Wilson's been a deputy for fifteen years, Franklin for eight."

Emily walks to the map and Reid watches as she adds one green and one yellow push pin. "That didn't go as I'd hoped, both men live in the comfort zone of our killer."

Hotch takes out his phone and hits one button, "Garcia we need everything you can find on John David Franklin and Mark Wilson." He disconnects, then looks at his team. "Rossi and Prentiss talk to Franklin, Morgan and Reid you've got Wilson."

"You want us to question local law enforcement?" Reid is unsure.

"I know it's not standard procedure, but we have two dead children,"

"We don't know that Jacob Collins is dead." JJ looks her boss in the eye.

" Agent," he meets her eyes, "And two more running out of time. Any backlash will be on me."

They leave without any other questions. Hotch looks at the liaison, "JJ do you need to step away?"

"No sir," She shakes her head.

"I need you to get a press conference set up ASAP."

"It's ready, just give me time to get the local stations here." She turns to leave.

"JJ…" She turns to look at her boss. "Let's call the national news as well."

"Already done," she checks her watch. "They should be here by the time things are set up."

"Good job agent," he meets her eyes.

"I just hope it works." She leaves the room.

Morgan and Reid are sitting in the living room of Mark Wilson. He stands and walks away from the agents. "You think I could do this?" He turns to look at Derek.

"Deputy, we're just covering all our bases. This guy was able to take four children without raising suspicion. It is someone trusted in this town, someone that makes them feel safe."

"That doesn't mean it's me," he looks at the doctor.

"No, no it doesn't, would you mind if we looked around?" Reid waits for an answer.

He raises his hands in surrender, "Look all you want," he tosses keys to the younger agent, who actually catches them. Morgan almost smiles."Those are to the shed out back."

Wilson sits on the couch as the others move throughout the house.

Rossi and Prentiss are standing on the porch of the house owned by John David Franklin. Prentiss looks at Dave and knocks again. When they still don't get an answer, she looks to the older agent. "Now what?"

"No warrant so we can't go inside," he walks to the window and tries to see inside. "Can't see anything. Let's try the back."

They walk off the porch and around the house. Emily looks through the window in the back door, but sees nothing that can get them inside. She takes her phone out and calls Garcia. "Garcia, we're at Franklin's place but no ones home. Can you find his phone?"

"Give me a minute, if it's on I'll find it." Emily and Dave look around the property. At the same time they notice a barn less than quarter mile away. "He's there close to the house."

"Got him, he's in a barn, send Morgan and Reid for back up, I've got a bad feeling."

Less than an hour later the media liaison stands in front of the assembled press. She gives them the facts she wants them to have. "Anyone with information can contact the BAU, the number is on your screen."

Hands raise and she looks toward Hotch, he nods with the go ahead. "Rachel, we'll start with you, please be respectful of the families."

When they go into the station they see the room is in a frenzy. The tip lines are ringing, the deputies are writing down the information they receive. The sheriff comes out of his office as Hotch's phone rings. "Hotchner." JJ watches his body language shift and she knows it isn't good. She bites her bottom lip and plays with her necklace as she waits.

The sheriff approaches them and she can tell he is pissed. She assumes he has been told they suspect one of his men. "I did not invite you here to-"

JJ looks at the man, her anger and frustration surface, "No you waited two days- two days! Why?"

"We need to go," she follows him out of the station. He puts his phone on speaker as they get in the SUV. "Garcia I need the closest FBI field office to send agents to the home of John David Franklin."

She types, then relays the information. "They're twenty minutes out."

The unit chief disconnects and hits another button, "Morgan where are you?"

Reid answers, "We are about six minutes from the house."

The next voice heard is Morgan, "Anything else from Prentiss?"

"Not since I told her to stay put," he glances at JJ.

"Think she did?"

"We're about seven minutes behind you, local FBI is fifteen, wait for backup." Hotch disconnects again and punches the gas increasing his speed.

"What's going on?" The younger agent is more worried then before, had something happened to Emily?

"He's barricaded in a barn, they reported shots fired."

"Where they hit?"

"No."

She runs her hand through her hair, "The kids?"

"They didn't have a visual."

Morgan and Reid jump out of the car as soon as it stops. They go around the house and toward the barn. They can see it, but do not see Rossi or Prentiss. "Now what?" Asks the younger agent.

"Let's see if we can get a better view, stay close and keep your head down." Cautiously they move around to the side of the barn opposite the door. Once there they can see there is no back entrance. Morgan looks toward a row of windows about ten feet off the ground, he looks at Reid and motions for him to stay put. He keys his field mic hoping Rossi and Prentiss are geared up. "Rossi- Prentiss, Reid and I are on the side opposite the door." He waits, after a minute with no response he motions to some equipment close to the barn and Reid nods his understanding. Reid covers Morgan as he watches him approach the barn and start to climb up so he can see inside. The older agent grabs the window ledge and does a pull up to see inside. He lowers himself and goes back to the younger man.

"Could you see him?" The genesis questions softly.

"He's inside with two kids, Rossi is trying to talk to him. I didn't see Emily."

They look to the front as they hear feet moving their direction. He hold up his hand when they come into view to stop their advance. He motions for two to stay put with Reid and the others follow him back to the front. When they are a safe distance from the door he tell them the situation. As they are coming up with a tactical plan of entrance Hotch and JJ pull up and run toward them pulling on their vests. When they reach them he speaks. "Rossi is inside trying to talk to him."

"The boys and Emily?" JJ looks hopeful.

"The boys are there, Emily-" before he can say anything else they hear gun fire from inside.

Morgan's gone before the others can react. He is already inside by the time Hotch, JJ and the field agents reach the door. His heart is pounding when he sees Franklin on the ground. He searches for Emily and he sees her kneeling a few feet away. She looks up and he sees the blood that covers her hands and chest. "We need medical now!" He yells into his mic.

He hears sirens and looks back realizing he can't let JJ see what has happened. He turns and runs as Rossi moves to Emily.

JJ rounds the corner and he stops her, with his hands on her shoulders. "Let's go back outside."

"What happened-is she-" the EMTs run passed them. She tries to get by him but he wraps her in his arms tightly. "Derek let me go." She yells in both anger and fear. She struggles to get away. "Emily!"

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Hope it was worth the wait. Sorry for the cliffhanger


	7. Chapter 7

Secrets: Chapter 7

Don't own them, wish I did! It would be sooo much fun.

JJ continues to struggle, she hits at him. "Damnit, Derek, let me go!" She is unable to stop the tears. "I-I need to see her."

"Jennifer," the voice is soft.

Blue eyes dart towards the sound to see Emily standing a few feet from her, her shirt, arms and hands are red with blood. She pulls away from the man and runs to her lover. Emily wraps her in her arms, holding her tightly. The younger woman pulls back after a few seconds as her mind fights confusion. "You-you need to let them look at you." As she speaks her hands touch Emily's chest looking for the source of the blood.

"Darling, I'm okay," she forces a tight smile but tears still fall.

It is then that JJ puts the pieces together, her legs give out and she crumbles to the ground. Emily follows as they hold each other and cry. "No-no-both?"

Emily nods, "I tried but I couldn't, there was so much blood." The words stop and the tears continue to fall. They try desperately to console each other.

They are clearing the scene an hour later, when the sight of the blood sends JJ sprinting for the door, but she doesn't quite make it. She throws up, her body still in turmoil, so many emotions to deal with and she just can't. She cries again as she feels Emily's hand on her back. The brunette doesn't speak, just holds her hair for her as the dry heaves start. A few minutes later she presses a kiss to the top of her head. "Let's go back to the station, get things packed up."

The blonde wipes her mouth on her sleeve. "We're not finished here. I'm okay," she lies.

Emily turns her so their eyes meet, "We both know that's not true, none of us are okay."

JJ nods, "Yeah," she walks into Emily's arms and rests her head on the older woman's chest.

Emily struggles for composure, "We'll go back to the station, then when they finish here we can get the hell out of this place, okay?" She feels the younger woman nod. "I'll let Hotch know and meet you at the car." She squeezes her tightly, then reluctantly lets her go.

Emily stops in front of her boss, "Hotch, I'm gonna take JJ back to the station if that's okay?We'll take care of the paperwork and box up the boards."

The man studies her face and nods, "Stop and get cleaned up first, seeing you like that isn't helping."

She realizes he knows, "How did you-?" She stops. "We weren't trying to hide," she adds. "We just wanted time."

He nods, "We'll talk about it later."

"Right," she bites her lip nervously. She looks toward Morgan who had heard the conversation and he smiles at her reassuringly. She walks away.

JJ stands just inside their room at the hotel. She watches as Emily places their go bags on the only bed in the room. The older woman turns to her, "You wanna go first?" The blonde shakes her head, then looks down at her hands, she wipes at the blood. The brunette blows out a long breath and walks over to her love, she touches the blonde's chin and lifts her face so that their eyes meet. "Talk to me Darling, what do you need me to do?"

Blue eyes fill with tears, "I thought-I don't know what I'd do if something happened to you." The tears fall and JJ grabs onto Emily's shirt, twisting it in her hands.

Emily presses a quick kiss to her lips and again meets her eyes, "I'm right here." JJ nods. The older woman takes one of the younger woman's hands from her shirt and places it on her heart. "Feel that?" Again a nod from her girl. She presses her lips to Emily's, but it's not the same as the chaste kiss they shared. JJ's trembling hands start to work on the buttons of the older woman's shirt. "Jay?"

"I know we said- that at work we wouldn't, but I need to feel you," she presses another kiss to her lips. Unable to say no, Emily starts towards the bathroom, their lips still joined.

In the bathroom the blonde slowly removes Emily's blouse. Her hands explore her shoulders, her chest, she stops with her hand on her heart. She forces tears away as she feels the strong lub dub under her fingers. She kisses her softly, then whispers against her lips. "I love you."

The older woman pulls back slightly so that she can meet blue eyes, "I love you." She lets her hands slide under JJ's shirt, then pulls it up and over her head.

They undress each other without speaking, lips touch and tease as they step under the water. The younger woman holds the older against the wall with her body. Her hands trail along her neck and chest, lips soon follow. Emily moans, everywhere she is touched catches fire. "Yes," she breaths out, as she feels a strong thigh press between hers.

Lips return to lips as they start a slow, steady rhythm. They whisper to each other, their words are comforting, loving-full of hope and trust. They increase their rocking slightly and the kisses become more needy as they approach their release. When it hits them it is cathartic-they hold to each other as they cry. They both know this day could have ended much differently; as bad at it was it could have been worse, neither Emily or Rossi were wearing their Kevlar.

As they board the plane they see Hotch is already there. Emily nervously meets his eyes as she takes JJ's hand. "So is now good?"

"I think it can wait till tomorrow, my office at 8:00."

"In the morning?" She looks at JJ playfully, trying to lighten the atmosphere, "He's really mad, making me get up that early."

The blonde glares at her, the sarcasm not appreciated. She is worried about their jobs. "Emily, you're not funny."

She mock pouts as she starts toward the back of the plane. She doesn't let the blonde's hand go as she heads to the couch. They stand facing each other, "I think we can use some cuddle time."

"Seriously, on the jet, in front of the others." She looks at her lover like she has lost her mind.

"Darling, I'm not saying I want to make out." She is suddenly unsure, maybe the blonde just wasn't ready to be out to their friends.

The younger woman can sense her insecurity, "What if I do?" She tries to be playful but she can't find a smile.

"You goof, I just want to hold you."

"Sounds like a plan." She sits on the couch and pulls her legs up under her. Emily settles against her and wraps her in her arms. JJ rests her head on the brunette's shoulder.

When the others board a few minutes later they find the women asleep in each other's arms. Morgan smiles as he takes a seat across the isle, he can't help but feel like he should be protecting them. Rossi smiles, glad they finally decided to let their family know what he had figured out a few weeks ago, he sits across from Hotch. Reid is the only one who is surprised, but he he sits without asking questions.

Once in the air, Rossi dares to brooch the subject with the unit chief. "Did you know?"

"I think we all suspected."

"What does this mean for them and the team?"

"It gives Strauss more ammunition against Prentiss- it could be enough to remove her from the team." He looks across at the women. "I don't know if I can stop that from happening."

Rossi nods, "I'm not sure why Erin has such a dislike for Emily, but I'll take care of it."

Hotch raises an eyebrow, "Do I want to know how you're going to do that?"

"It's probably better if you don't."

"Well, if Strauss isn't a part of the equation and it doesn't cause problems in the field, I don't see an issue."

Dave nods, stands and pats Hotch on the knee, "I think it's a good call." He starts to the back to get a drink.

Later, just before the plane starts its approach, Emily's eyes open. She smiles as she realizes that in her sleep JJ has assumed her usual position. The younger woman is lying on top of her, her hands tangled in the brunette's shirt, and her head resting on her chest.

The silence is broken by a whine and then pleading from the sleeping woman, "No-don't, don't hurt him."

Emily bites her lip as her hand begins to rub soothing circles on her girlfriend's back. "Shhh Jay, it's ok."

She jerks awake, she is fighting tears, as she sits up and meets Emily's eyes. The older woman's hands moves to her shoulders. "I'm okay," she promises though she isn't sure.

Morgan looks at them and stands, "I think we could all use something to drink." He moves to the back to give them some privacy.

JJ wipes at the tears, "I really am okay." She takes Emily's hands in hers and begins to play with her fingers. Her eyes stay on her hands. "I just- I can't keep my emotions under control."

The older woman nods, "It's understandable."

JJ looks up to meet her eyes, "Yeah?"

"Yeah." She touches her cheek, wiping a tear. "You haven't felt well for a couple of weeks, add to that the caseload we've had-then the last two days."

"I feel like a big baby," she rolls her eyes.

Emily smiles a little and leans in so no one else can hear, "You're my baby,"she whispers.

The blonde blushes and leans her head onto the brunette's shoulder. "How do you always know what to say to make me feel better?"

She shrugs, "Not sure, I just do."

Morgan stops beside them and teases as he hands them both a water. "Enough of the lovey-dovey stuff." With a smile he sits down, they both shoot him a playful glare.

Finally the couple are tucked safely in Emily's king sized bed. The blonde sleeps, but the brunette is awake. She can't stop seeing the little boys or hearing them cry out as she tries without success to help them. Tears fall as she slips from the bed and out of the room.

Downstairs, she goes into the kitchen, and opens the refrigerator getting out milk. She fills a mug and places it in the microwave. As the milk warms she puts the container away and closes the door. Her mind wanders to the little boys, blue eyed blonds that could have been JJ's children, their children and she couldn't protect them. The ding of the microwave causes her to jump. Running her fingers through her hair and wiping her eyes again, she gets her drink. As she takes her first sip she wonders when she lost the ability to compartmentalize.

She goes into the living room and stares out at the city, the capitol building shines brightly. She feels arms wrap around her from behind and she leans into them. "I missed you."

"Couldn't sleep," it wasn't a lie. "I didn't want to wake you so I came down here." Okay so that's a half truth, the whole truth being I didn't want her to see me cry either. How could I be strong for her if I can't hold myself together.

"You know, I can be strong for you too." JJ states, it was as if she had read the brunette's mind. She holds her tighter. "We are in this together right?" Emily nods, not trusting her voice as more tears escape. "Bad dreams?" Emily nods again. The younger woman moves her arms from around her and takes her hand. The older turns to face her though her doesn't meet her eyes.

JJ leads her to the couch, where they cuddle together under a blanket. "Why don't you tell me about the dreams Em?"

"I just keep replaying it in my mind, trying to find a way to save them. I can't- it always ends the same." Tears stream down her face, she tries to stop crying but isn't able to.

The younger woman holds her tighter, she presses a kiss to temple. "It's not your fault, you tried."

"It wasn't enough." She sobs against her lover's chest.

The blonde continues to hold her, rubs her back as she tries to comfort her. She doesn't have words but she whispers, "I love you."

Morning finds them tucked into bed. Emily wakes as she smells coffee, she smiles and thanks the gods for automatic coffee makers. Beside her, the blonde begins to wake as well, as her eyes open she frowns as her stomach rumbles. She sits up and then feels a wave of nausea sweep through her, she springs from the bed and the older woman follows her, unsure.

In the bathroom a few minutes later she is brushing her teeth as Emily sits on the closed toilet watching her. Around the toothbrush in her mouth JJ tries to talk, "I'm fine."

The brunette looks unconvinced as she raises a brow, "Says the woman who was puking her guts out not ten minutes ago."

JJ rinses her mouth and puts her toothbrush in the holder on the counter. "Really I'm okay, I think it was nerves because of the meeting with Hotch."

She considers the words and decides it's plausible explanation. "Maybe, but if it happens again, I'm making you a doctor's appointment."

This time it is JJ who raises an eyebrow, "Who put you in charge of me?"

Emily blushes, "Well, I just- you're right. It's not my decision." She stands and starts to leave the room but JJ's hand on her arm stops her. "I'm sorry." She says softly as she turns to face the blonde.

JJ leans forward and kisses her, "Thank you for worrying about me, but I promise I'm okay."

Emily simply nods. "I'll get dressed and start breakfast, meet you downstairs." She leaves without looking at her.

JJ looks unsure, "What just happened?" She rubs her temples as she feels the telltale signs of a headache starting. She knows they need to talk, but there isn't time before work to do it.

When they arrive at the BAU, JJ stops at Emily's desk. "I need to put this in my office."

Emily bites her lip and then looks toward Hotch's office. "I'll go on up, see you in a few minutes." She touches her fingers to the blonde's, nervously they both smile.

She knocks on the open door and the unit chief looks up to see Emily there. "Come on in."She does and stands just inside. He can feel the waves of anxiety flowing from her. "You can sit down if you'd like Prentiss, this doesn't have to be so formal." She nods and sits across from him as the blonde walks in without knocking. "JJ if you could close the door please." She nods, closes it and sits down next to her girlfriend. "We need to discuss how to deal with the changes in your relationship."

"I've been thinking about that. I think if one of us has to leave the BAU it should be me." Emily's words surprise both of them.

"I can't let you do that," JJ starts. "You've wanted to work here for years."

Emily forgets Hotch is in the room. "Darling this team couldn't function without you. You're what holds us together."

"Agents," he brings their attention back to him. "If I may, both of you are correct in your assessment of the situation. This is what I came up with," he talks and they listen.

In the bullpen Rossi, Reid and Morgan take turns looking up at the closed door of the unit chief. "They've been there too long." Morgan is worried about the outcome of the meeting.

Reid checks his watch, "Approximately 84 minutes, if one assumes they started on time at eight."

Rossi tries to reassure them, "The bureau isn't as strict on fraternization as they'd like you to think." Morgan raises an eyebrow, Rossi smirks and Reid looks as clueless as ever when emotions are involved. "Trust me on this."

Before anything else can be said the door opens and the men scatter to pretend they weren't waiting anxiously for the outcome. Both woman avert their eyes as they reach the bullpen. "Well Princess what happened?" Morgan addresses his best friend.

She can't stop the smile from spreading on her face. "We just have to keep things professional on the job."

"And Strauss is okay with that?" It all seems too easy in his mind.

"Apparently she didn't voice an opinion when Hotch spoke with her."

Reid looks intrigued by that comment, "That seems odd considering her dislike for you Emily."

Rossi pipes up, "You all know the saying about the gift horse right?" They nod and he turns to leave. He stops when his eyes fall on the quiet blonde. "JJ?"

That one word brings Emily's attention to her girl. She notices right away that she is pale and her hands are shaking. "Jennifer?"

"Not okay Em." Reid grabs a rolling chair but before he can get it to her she starts to fall. Morgan catches her before she hits the ground. Emily sees the whole thing in slow motion and all she can think is that she should have insisted that she go to the doctor this morning.

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Just wanted to thank everyone for reading and reviewing. It's a great motivation.


	8. Chapter 8

Secrets

Chapter 8

Thanks for reading and reviewing. Hope you like the update. Oh, almost forgot- they don't belong to me unfortunately, I just borrow them and mess with canon. LOL!

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JJ lies on the bed in the emergency treatment room, Emily stands next to her holding her hand. As the door opens, so do blue eyes. "I'm Dr. Randle," states the woman with a looks at the chart and then puts it on the counter. "You told the nurse in triage that you have been experiencing bouts of vomiting and tiredness?"

"Off and on," she confirms.

"That added with the irregularities in your blood pressure and heart rate make me feel that you are suffering from dehydration. I'd like to do a few tests to determine to what degree so we know the steps that would better treat the problem."

"Okay," JJ says softly. She can feel Emily squeeze her hand and it calms her.

"I'll send a lab tech to draw blood and I'll need you to use this," she hands JJ a small plastic cup.

Emily bursts out laughing, the blonde tries to elbow her. "I'm sorry it's just, peeing in a cup was not what I expected."

"Shut up you," she pouts playfully. The doctor slips out of the room.

Emily becomes serious, "Are you okay to stand up and walk by yourself?"

"If I say no are you gonna help me?" She tries not to smile as she wiggles the cup at her lover.

The older woman rolls her eyes and then leans down to kiss her softly. "How about I help you to the bathroom and you take care of the rest?"

"Deal."

Three hours later they are still in the exam room waiting for the test results. The nurse comes in with a IV bag, "Dr. Randle wanted to start an IV, your electrolytes are not where she would like."

"So the tests are back?" JJ asks hopefully, she just wants to go home.

"Some are," she works to insert the line for the fluid, the blonde flinches slightly. "She'll be in to talk to you as soon as the other results are available." She leaves with a smile.

"Em do you think they're gonna make me stay here?" She looks up, worry in her eyes.

Emily sits next to her and kisses her forehead, then meets her baby blues. "Honestly?" JJ nods. "Probably for the night. They'll want to make sure you're rehydrated and then check your levels again."

"I don't want to stay, I want to go home." She fights tears.

"Hey, I'll be right here with you." She points to the chair.

"No, you won't get any sleep in that thing."

She shrugs, "I'd rather watch you sleep anyway." She winks at the blonde.

"Charmer." She leans in and kisses her.

JJ is asleep an hour later, when Dr. Randle comes in. Emily leans down and whispers, "Jenn, the doctor's here.

As she opens her eyes to meet Randle's, the younger woman speaks, "What's the verdict doctor?"

"The dehydration is pretty severe, but we can take care of it. I'd like to keep you for a couple of days, maybe longer to make sure there are no complications."

The blonde's face falls, she doesn't want to stay. She hates hospitals more than her girlfriend does.

"Complications?" Emily turns her full attention to the doctor.

"Dehydration during pregnancy can be dangerous."

Brown eyes meet shocked blue, both look to the doctor. "Excuse me," they say in unison.

"Pregnancy?" JJ says, her mind whirling with questions.

"You didn't know?"

"Know what?" Still trying to wrap her mind around the idea.

"You're pregnant, I'm guessing nine-ten weeks."

"No, that can't be right." The blonde closes her eyes, she can feel the headache starting, as she tries to remember her last cycle.

The doctor watches Emily as she laces her fingers with the blonde. "I'll give the two of you some time."

The brunette nods, "Thanks." Once the door closes Emily crawls onto the bed and JJ immediately moves into her arms. "Been some kinda day huh?" She kisses her forehead.

Scared and worried blue eyes meet compassionate brown. "I don't know how-we haven't since before Florida. I don't know how to tell him, we haven't talked since- he wanted time to process. I can't just call him and-I mean what do I say? I don't love you but I'm having your baby." Tears stream down her face as she rants on. "Emily, I don't know how to do this."

The older woman forces herself to stay calm and pushes away her questions. "Darling you don't have to figure it all out right this minute. You need to take care of yourself and the little guy first for a few days and then we'll make a plan-okay?"

JJ's hand goes to her stomach and she nods. "Okay, that sounds-yeah, I can do that. Right?"

Emily smiles, "Right." She presses a kiss to her lips and holds her tightly. The room is quiet but their minds are racing with questions and fears.

Later the nurse comes in and finds them cuddled together, the blonde is sleeping. She hangs another bag of fluids and exchanges it with the empty one. Emily looks at the nurse, who smiles as she addresses her, "We have her room ready, so we'll be moving her shortly."

"Can they do it without waking her? She hasn't been sleeping well."

"That shouldn't be a problem, they'll just move the bed to the 5th floor."

Emily smiles, "Thank you."

The nurse starts to leave but stops, "I almost forgot, an Agent Hotchner would like to speak with you."

Emily shakes her head, "I didn't realize they were still here, could you tell him I'll be right out?" The nurse nods and walks out. Emily carefully moves from JJ's arms and stands, she stretches and then straightens her clothes. She lets a hand stroke the blonde's face, then presses a soft kiss there was well before leaving.

In the waiting room she finds the guys. "Sorry, my mind is just-she's sleeping. She's doing much better, she's badly dehydrated and the doctor wants to keep her for a couple of days, but it's going to be okay- she's going to be okay."

"That's good." Rossi smiles.

"Hotch I'll need a few days too, maybe a week." She looks at her boss and he nods. "It can be without pay if it makes things easier."

"Prentiss the only person with more comp time then you is Dave. Don't worry about it."

She smiles, "Thank you."

He stands, " I need to get back to the office. Call if you need anything."

"I will, thanks guys." She hugs each of them.

Morgan stands next to her as the others leave. "What didn't you want them to know?"

She looks at her best friend, "You can't tell anyone." He nods. "She's pregnant."

Her words surprise him, "Wasn't expecting that."

"Neither was I." She looks away.

Derek watches as her whole demeanor changes and he can see the walls starting to go up, "Hey, no- I don't know what you're thinking, but stop right there."

She coughs a laugh, "I should have known better, I should have known I don't get the girl. I never do."

"Princess, we really gonna do this again? She loves you, you know that. So tell that brain of yours to shut up and listen to your heart. The three of you will make this work, that's who you are."

"I'll screw it up, I'll get jealous or defensive, or both and push her away."

"I didn't say it would be easy, just talk to her, tell her how you feel. Hell, tell him how you feel."

"Maybe," she chews on her lip.

"Don't maybe me, I was right before and I'm right now. You know it."

She can't help but smile, "You'll talk me through it when I get crazy?"

"Don't I always?" He smiles and she swats at him.

In JJ's room, she wakes to find herself alone. She scans the room but doesn't see Emily, she can feel the panic start to rise. As much as she tries to fight it the bad thoughts storm into her head. How can she expect the woman to stay with her when she is carrying a child that belongs to someone else?

Before JJ can doubt herself any further, the door opens and Emily walks in with a smile. "You're awake," she presses a soft kiss to the blonde's lips as she sits beside her. "The guys just left, they'll be back tomorrow. Oh, the nurse said your room is ready, they'll be moving you soon."

JJ forces a nervous little smile, "I missed a lot, how long was I asleep?" She bites her bottom lip as she meets brown eyes.

Emily brushes hair out of her girl's face, "A couple of hours, how are you feeling?"

"Better-physically, mentally I can't comprehend- a baby." She says honestly, as she interlocks her fingers with Emily's. "It never occurred to me that I might be pregnant."

The older woman brings their joined hands to her lips and kisses JJ's. "You just let me know how I can help."

"Em," her voice shakes. "I would understand if you don't want to-this isn't what you," she looks down unable to say the words she feels she needs to.

Emily's free hand touches her chin and lifts it so that their eyes meet, "I love you." Tears fill blue eyes, but don't fall. She decides to follow Derek's advice and tell her how she feels. "It's all pretty surreal, dating someone who is pregnant." She takes a deep breath and presses forward, "We haven't talked about kids, but you know I want them. I want them with you."

JJ leans so that their foreheads meet, "You really mean that, you're not just," her words stop.

"I'm not just. Look, I'd be lying if I said I wanted kids this early in our relationship, but things happen. You roll with it and go on." JJ kisses her softly.

"I don't know how Will is going to handle this," she bites her lip and then licks it.

"Let's not worry about that until we're home, give yourself a few days to come to terms with everything."

Before the conversation can continue the door opens and an orderly comes in, "Agent Jareau?" She nods. "I'm here to drive you to your new room."

"Can I get you to drive me home instead?" She moves to rest her head on the pillows.

"Sorry, I can't do that." He smiles.

"I had to try," she mumbles, with a little pout.

Emily laughs as she stands up, but doesn't release her lover's hand. The orderly removes the IV bag from the hook and lays it on the bed, he then unlocks the wheels of the bed and begins to roll it toward the door.

Hours later the blonde sleeps and Emily watches her, she sits next to her their fingers still entwined. As the door opens, she looks up and sees Dr. Randle enter and close the door behind her. The doctor moves to the bed and checks the IV, she makes notes on the clipboard she carries. Randle speaks softly, "How's she doing?"

"Shouldn't I be asking you that?" She states half seriously and half jokingly, her eyebrow raised.

"Her electrolytes have improved, her heart rate is slower and her blood pressure is closer to normal." Emily worries her bottom lip with her teeth as she waits for the 'but' she knows she's about to hear.

Before the doctor can add to her diagnosis JJ speaks, "Can I go home?" Her eyes open.

Emily struggles to stop a laugh, "You keep asking that and they're gonna keep you longer." JJ scowls at her lover. "I seem to remember someone telling that the last time I got shot." She smiles. The blonde sticks out her tongue at her.

The doctor laughs at the women and their banter. "I'll make you a deal."

JJ turns her attention to the other woman, "I'm listening."

"I'd like you to see a specialist in high risk pregnancy, if their testing is okay I'll sign off on the paperwork."

Tears begin to fall from blue eyes but she nods. "Okay."

"I'll set it up for tomorrow morning and let you know the time." She leaves to call the obstetrician.

Emily isn't sure what to say so she doesn't speak, she climbs into the bed carefully and hugs her girl to her chest. As JJ cries she kisses her forehead, then her temple. She tentatively lets her hand rest on the younger woman's stomach and the baby growing inside. She struggles to stay strong, but she can't stop her mind from going back to the choice she made all those years ago. She closes her eyes to stop the tears from escaping.

Early the next morning Dr. Harrison introduces herself as she sits at the foot of the exam table. Emily stands next to JJ, who is sitting on the table. "I'd like to ask you some questions to get some back ground information, then I'll do a pelvic exam and finally an ultrasound. Your friend can wait in the room just outside the door."

Emily starts to leave, but the blonde won't let her hand go. "Stay," she says nervously.

"Could you give us just a minute?" The brunette asks the doctor, she nods and leaves the room. She moves so that she is standing in front of her girlfriend. "This is going to get really personal- are you sure you want me to be here?"

JJ blushes as their eyes meet, "Yeah, I figured." She realizes what she's asking and then misinterprets Emily's uncertainty. "If you don't want to that's okay I understand."

Emily shakes her head, " We had a deal remember?" The younger woman nods. "No putting words into each other's mouths. Did I say I didn't want to be here?" The blonde shakes her head. "If I stay, I'm gonna learn things that we haven't talked about and I don't want you to be uncomfortable or embarrassed."

"Talking about my sex life is going to embarrass me whether you're in the room or not," she admits as she puts her arms around the brunette and pulls her closer.

She is now standing between JJ's legs as they share a soft kiss. Emily places her hands on the blonde's face as they separate."Ready to do this?"

"Ready," she lies.

Emily was right, some of the questions were personal and some were embarrassing, but most were pretty standard. She told the doctor her medical history and what she knew of Will's. Harrison asked questions about her job and it's dangers, she explained that she was mostly out of harms way. It was a subject to be discussed again later.

The next step was the physical exam. They took more blood, she peed in a cup again, much to Emily's amusement. When the doctor started the pelvic exam Emily stopped laughing, she turned so that she was looking into JJ's eyes. She held her hand throughout the process and tried to distract her, so she was as relaxed as possible.

The doctor is getting ready to do the ultrasound, "The gel is a little cold." She applies some to JJ's exposed stomach.

"A little," breaths the blonde.

Emily bites her bottom lip and looks at her lover, "I'm guessing that's subjective?" She gets a nod and a nervous smile.

Harrison continues to explain the procedure, "I'm sure you've seen this done in some romcom." Emily and JJ nod. "The transponder reads the image and displays it on the scene."She begins to move the wand across the gel. "It may take a minute." The fuzzy outline of the baby appears. "Or not," she smiles as she sees all eyes on the baby.

JJ tries to form words but can't, amazed at what she sees. Tears form but for the first time not out of fear or worry, as they make tracks down her cheeks she smiles in wonder.

The picture has the same affect on her partner, Emily glances from the screen and watches JJ, she smiles as sees her fall in love with the new life inside her. She wipes alway the moisture from her own face as she does the same. "Wow-just wow."

The doctor begins to take measurements as she moves from area to area along JJ's stomach. "I believe Dr. Randle's estimates are correct I'd say you're just over ten weeks."

The media liaison finds her voice, "Is everything-is he okay?"

"The fetus is measuring a little small but nothing to be alarmed about. The fluid levels appear normal. I want to check a few more details, the results won't take too long to process. I think you'll be home before lunch tomorrow."

"Home sounds good." She smiles.

"I know something that'll sound better." She smiles as she adjusts a dial on the machine. A fast lub dub fills the room.

JJ's eyes go wide, "Is that," she can't finish her sentence as she is overwhelmed with emotion. She pulls Emily closer and they share a soft kiss. "Hear that?" Emily nods as they look into each other's eyes.

"I hear him, he's strong like his mother." She kisses her again.

"He's okay. He's really okay." She leans her forehead against Emily's.

The doctor pushes a few buttons and then a strip of paper begins to print from the machine. "I'm sure you'll want this as a reminder as well." She removes the paper and hands it to the blonde.

Tears fall again as she stares at the image of her child. Emily mouths a thank you to the doctor and returns her attention to her family.

JJ is back in her room, she and Emily are lying side by side in her bed. The blonde's head rests on her lover's shoulder as she holds the ultrasound picture and both are staring at it, still amazed by the events of the past two days. There is a knock at the door. The younger woman puts the picture under her pillow and speaks, "Come in."

Morgan holds the door as Garcia comes in with a bouquet of 'Get Well' balloons and a six pack of grape Gatorade. Both women smile at their friend. She pushes the balloons at Derek and rushes to the bed and hugs JJ. The questions start as soon as she is released. "What did the doctor say? How are you?When can you go home?"

"I'm dehydrated, but getting better," she holds up the arm with the IV. "Hopefully I'll get to go home tomorrow."

"You can stay at my place I'll take good care of you." Emily raises a brow and JJ's mouth opens and then closes as she realizes the tech doesn't know about them. Then it hits Garcia, Emily is in bed with the blonde, holding hands. She looks from one to the other. "Are you two- are you-okay, somebody better start talking, before I start hacking credit scores."

JJ looks at Emily, though blushing both smile. "So ah - Emily and I- we've been ah," She looks to the older woman for help.

Derek can't help but smirk as he sees them rattled. The smirk disappears as the brunette glares at him. She turns her attention to the technical analyst. "Garcia we're together." She states confidently.

Garcia smiles, "Define together." She asks playfully. Derek laughs.

"Pretty much the classic definition of the word. You know," she stops.

Garcia squeals happily and hugs both of her friends. "I knew it!" She seems to be thinking as she pauses but continues with gusto as her mind comes back to now. "You guys started acting weird a couple of months ago but when I said something to Derek he just brushed it off." She turns to him. "But you knew." She swats him. The couple look at each other and then back at their friend as they realize she can almost pinpoint the start of their relationship. "I was right wasn't I, that's when it started after that case in Florida. I mean there was sexual tension before," she is interrupted by the blonde.

The shocked woman tries to find her voice, "What sexual tension? There was no tension- sexual or otherwise." She protests.

Morgan's eyebrow shoots up and Garcia rolls her eyes, "Really, that's the story you're going with Jayje?" She giggles. "The two of you have been eye shagging for at least a year."

This time it is Emily who attempts to refute the hyper woman's words, "That's just not true."

The tech looks at her and her smile grows, "I can show you video."

"What!" They say in unison.

"Really Babygirl?"

She shakes her head, "No but the long stares, the touches, come on guys I may not be a profiler but I have eyes. Besides, I think it's cute."

Derek interjects, "Don't."

Emily mumbles, "Don't call me cute."

Garcia laughs, "What was that?"

"I am not cute, I'm an FBI agent for gods sake. I'm a badass."

"She's sorry honey, she didn't mean to hurt your feelings," JJ teases her lover. "Apologize Pen."

They laugh as the tech hugs the brunette, "You're the most badass princess."

"You know what, I'm going home." Emily states then sees JJ's unsure look.

"I'm teasing, you can't get rid of me." She hugs her closer.

Penelope starts, "No, you should definitely go, get something to eat."

Emily protests, "I ate."

JJ realizes she hasn't, "Not since breakfast yesterday, you can't take care of us if you don't take care of yourself." Their eyes meet.

"You'll call if you need me?" JJ nods. "I'll be quick-grab something to eat, then go get your clothes and maybe take a shower."

"I'll be fine," she promises.

"You'll stay with her?" She asks the tech.

"Absolutely, we can talk."

The younger blonde groans playfully. "She's gonna grill me for details, you know that."

Emily stands, "Better you then me." She winks playfully and kisses JJ softly, they both blush as Garcia's awes fill the room. "Be back soon. Derek do you want to come with me?"

"Sure, I could eat."

"Garcia be nice she doesn't need stress."

"You got it cupcake-I mean Agent Badass." She smiles.

Emily and JJ share another kiss, "Love you," she whispers,

"Love you too," Emily slips out of the room and Morgan follows.

"You two are too cute for words," the tech smiles as she sits on the bed. She becomes serious, "You're really okay?" JJ nods. "All I needed to know, on to the good parts, tell me how, when, where -and I want details not just the top coat. I mean a deep dive, the juicy stuff."

JJ smiles, but slowly shakes her head. "We are not discussing my sex life."

Garcia smile brightens, "But there is one to discuss-come on Jayje, spill."

"Not happening, my friend, not happening." She laughs as the tech goddess pouts. "The pout isn't gonna work." A few minutes later JJ offers a compromise, "I will tell about our first date."

Garcia perks up, "Was there kissing."

"You wanna know about the date or not?" She uses her 'Mom tone' as the guys call it. They have had it used on them more than once when they roughhoused on the plane.

"Fine, I'm listening." Her pout fades away as JJ begins her story.

"We went to this place I'd never heard of, just outside of Falls Church. It was amazing." Her eyes light up as she talks and Garcia gets lost in her words. By the time the story finishes the tech is enthralled.

"Wow," she breaths at a loss for words for maybe the first time in her life. "Our badass is a romantic."

"Oh yeah, but you didn't hear that from me, I'll deny it with my dying breath." JJ assures her.

"Secret's safe with me." Garcia crosses her heart.

"What if I told you there's another secret?" She is noticeably nervous.

Garcia looks her in the eyes and becomes serious, "It would be safe too."

"You can't tell anyone." She chews on her bottom lip.

"My lips are sealed," She promises as she makes a scene of locking them and throwing away the key.

JJ reaches under the pillow and pulls out the ultrasound picture. Without a word she reaches it towards her friend. Garcia takes it, her hand shaking. When she realizes what it is she looks surprised, she opens her mouth to speak but then closes it. She smiles, then decides on her course of action. "I just have two things to say; first, I didn't know she was that badass," she winks. "Second, I better be the fairy godmother."

The younger blonde shakes her head at the techs antics and forces a smile, "Definitely on both counts."

Garcia takes her hand,"Does Emily know?"

"Yeah, she was shocked-I-we both where but, she's okay-we're okay. I just don't know how to tell Will."

"You just tell him, let him be just as shocked as you were, then you talk and figure it out. That's who you are. But right now, you take care of you and the little one."

The younger blonde nods, "That's pretty much what Emily said."

"A badass and smart, you are so lucky." She winks.

JJ wraps the tech in a hug. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. Anytime you need to talk you know where to find me." She lets her friend go, then her eyes light up and she starts to bounce on the bed. "I saw this stuffed giraffe, oh and the cutest outfit at that boutique on K street the other day."

"Garcia," her tone is warning. "You can't-at least wait till we know if it's a boy or a girl."

"No-no that's just too long."

Emily and Derek are at the restaurant, he can tell that she is distracted, he watches a smile cross her face. "You doing okay?" He waits but gets no answer. "Princess?"

Emily looks unsure, "I'm sorry, I'm having trouble staying focused."

"Really?" He smiles at her. "So did you talk to her?"

She nods and then teases, "You just want me to tell you, that you were right again."

"It happens," he teases back. "But seriously?"

"We talked and it's a lot, but we're good."

"That's what I want to hear." His mega smile makes her smile grow too, "Why don't I drop you off at your place and you can shower while I go by her place and grab her things. That way I can get you back to your girl faster?

Emily shakes her head, "Her things are at the condo."

"Really? Since when?"

"Not all her things, just some of her them." He smirks and Emily rolls her eyes. "Shut up."

He doesn't. They stand and as they walk he talks, "Are you going to ask her to move in?"

"No," the woman says simply and the answer shocks him.

As they get in the truck and drive away she elaborates, "The condo isn't a good place for a baby, think you can help me find something better?"

"Are we talking a house?"

She bites her lip and nods, "Outside of DC maybe in Alexandria or Bethesda."

"You let me know what you're looking for and I'll find it."

"Thanks." She smiles as she thinks about a little blue eyed blonde playing in the yard. "Definitely has to have a yard." Derek smiles. "We heard his heartbeat, that was the most amazing thing. I love him already Derek."

"You loved him before that."

"Yeah, but now after I saw him and heard him, I can't not be a part of his life. I don't know what I'll do if," he interrupts her.

"Don't finish that sentence," she starts to protest, "Don't even, it's my job to stop you when you're being crazy."

She shakes her head, "Okay, you're right."

"You bet I am." He pats her leg.

Garcia sits in a chair and watches as the blonde sleeps. When the door opens she smiles at Derek and Emily, holding a finger to her lips to keep them quiet. Emily smiles as she stands next to the bed and looks down at her girl. "How long has she been asleep?"

"Not long," she stands and bumps Derek playfully, "Why don't we go before the chatter wakes her."

"Who's chattering Babygirl?"

"Me, I have a million questions." She looks pointedly at Emily.

Blushing she looks at the technical analyst, "I promise you can ask all your questions once she's feeling better."

"Nicely worded." Morgan grins.

"Sometimes growing up in politics doesn't suck," she bites her lip.

"Just remember I can erase you with just a couple of keystrokes." She raises a brow. "We will talk."

"I'm sure we will," she playfully rolls her eyes.

Morgan puts an arm around Garcia, "Later Princess." He waves as does the tech and they leave.

She sits on the edge of the bed, as she does blue eyes flutter open and a smile follows. "You're back." She finds the brunette's hand. "Snuggle with me?"

She turns and stretches out on the bed, she is surprised when JJ moves on top of her, "Careful, Darling, the IV." She helps straighten it. The blonde gets comfortable, her hand tangling in Emily's shirt. "Comfy?"

"Umm, in your arms, always." She snuggles tighter.

Emily's arms encircle her as well. She presses a kiss to the top of her head. "Good, rest."

When Dr. Randle and Dr. Harrison come in that's how they find them, both are asleep. They share a smile. Randle checks her chart, then the IV. "She's stable."

Harrison responds, "The tests results were normal as well."

"So I can go home?" Asks the blonde without moving, her eyes are fighting to stay open.

The doctors look at each other and nod. Randle speaks, "Tomorrow, we'll meet and go over some things we want you to do, then sign you out."

She smiles against Emily's chest, "Okay." Her eyes drift closed.

Just as the sun rises, Emily tries to stretch but realizes she can't, the younger woman is still asleep on her. She smiles and holds her tighter. The blonde mumbles something unintelligible and presses her lips to her lover's neck. A moan escapes without warning, "Hey, we can't do that here," she whispers.

"Want to," and with those words she kisses the girl's neck again.

"You're gonna get us in trouble," Emily tries again.

"Don't care," is her response as her hands start to roam.

Emily's eyes close but she forces them open and takes JJ's hands in hers. "You'll care when they make you stay longer."

JJ raises up enough to look into brown eyes, "You think?"

"Never know," she bites her lip.

The blonde whines and then a pout covers her face as she moves off Emily to lie beside her. "Another reason to hate hospitals."

"We needed another reason?" She smiles at the younger woman, then leans over and kisses her softly.

"I wanna go home." She lays her head on Emily's shoulder.

"I know you do and you will, when it's safe for both of you." She lets her hand rest on JJ's stomach and JJ's hand moves to cover hers.

After a few minutes JJ sits up slowly. Her movement causes Emily to turn toward her. "Bathroom," she explains as she gets up. She stands without moving to make sure she isn't going to get dizzy. Emily raises a brow, a silent question, "Not dizzy, be right back." She puts her hand on the IV pole to take it as well.

As she crosses the room and enters the bathroom, Emily gets out of the bed as well. She looks toward the door as she hears a knock, and smiles when she sees both doctors. "Did she sneak out during the night?"

"She tried, but I was able to talk her into staying." Emily shakes her head and points toward the bathroom, "I'm kidding."

JJ comes out of the bathroom and smiles, "Please tell me I'm going home."

Dr. Randle looks at her chart, "Your vitals look good."

"That's not an answer," she sits nervously on the bed.

"Dr. Harrison and I agree that it's safe for you both to be released with some stipulations."

"Stipulations?" JJ is unsure.

Randle looks from one woman to the other, "Bedrest for the next week, up only to go to the bathroom or the couch. Push the fluids, eat well and check your blood pressure daily. If you start getting dizzy or vomiting in excess, call your family doctor."

She nods, "I can do that."

Dr. Harrison takes her turn, "I would like to see you in my office the following week," she hands JJ an appointment card. "I want to do another ultrasound and start you on some prenatal vitamins, then we can talk about going back to work."

The younger woman is overwhelmed, she thought the baby was okay. "Are you worried that the baby isn't," she stops as tears threaten to fall.

"No, everything looks good, I just want to make sure it stays that way." She smiles reassuringly.

She leans against Emily who wraps her in her arms, "We do too," she says as she kisses JJ's head.

"I want you to finish the IV you have now and I'll check back in an hour of so, get the paperwork filled out, then you can go." Dr. Randle explains.

"Thank you," Emily smiles as JJ stays quiet in her arms.

The doctors leave and the older woman speaks, hers words filled with concern. "You okay?" When she doesn't get an answer, she runs her hand along the blonde's face, then her neck. "Look at me Darling," scared blue meets soft brown. "It's just a precaution, he's okay." She kisses her and then smiles.

"What if he's not?" Her voice trembles, as the fears tumble out. "What if he doesn't," lips meet hers to silence the words Emily doesn't want to hear. "I need him to be okay."

"We heard him, right?" JJ nods. "He's strong."

"Yeah," she agrees a small smile finds her lips, as she remembers the steady heartbeat.

"Yeah, so you just relax and let me take care of both of you. Can you do that?"

"I can try."

"I'll take that for now." She winks playfully.

JJ moves up the bed and lies down, "Snuggle with me?" The older woman moves beside her and lies down, as soon as she does JJ moves on top of her, her hand twisting in the brunette's shirt. Emily holds her and presses a kiss to her head.

Emily frowns as something occurs to her, "You know we aren't gonna be able to do this much longer." She feels JJ tense at her words, so she quickly explains, "The little guy's gonna make it impossible." Her hand rubs her girl's back.

JJ looks up into Emily's eyes, "I'll think of something." She smiles.

Emily smiles back, "I don't doubt that." They lay quietly and soon the blonde is asleep. Emily can't help but smile as pictures of the little blonde drifts through her mind. She sees his birth, hears his first words and feels him as he holds her tight as he sleeps on top of her. A few tears slip down her face as she realizes she is getting a second chance.

CM…CM…CM…CM…CM…CM…CM…CM…CM…CM…CM…CM…CM…CM…CM…CM

Finally, sorry it took so long. I hope you like it, let me know. Hopefully things will flow faster now that I can get back to my fluffy/angsty story.


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